Fugue in D Minor
by Mikauzoran
Summary: Alcohol leads to a lapse of judgment, and when Hakuba wakes to find Kaito in his bed, he panics and pushes the thief away, leaving Kaito feeling hurt, humiliated, and used. Can the rift between them ever be bridged? More importantly, will Kaito ever be able to heal?
1. Exposition

Mikau: Hello there and welcome to Fugue in D Minor! Thanks so much for joining me. Okay, about the title, I decided I wanted to be artsy, so I'm writing a fugue…in story format! (I'm sure Wikipedia has some article on fugues, if you're not familiar.) This is the exposition in which the subject is introduced and expounded upon a little. Next will be an episode in Kaito's point of view which will take some elements from the exposition and delve a little deeper, providing a transition into the development. In the development, I'll work on some themes introduced in the exposition, developing them a little more. After that, I'm planning on another episode in Kaito's perspective in which I elaborate on some things brought up in the development, and then I'll close out with the recapitulation, bringing things full circle and tying them up all nice and pretty. That's the plan anyway. I have a feeling it won't turn out to be a true fugue because of the lack of incessant repetition, but I do plan on having certain themes and elements repeat, and I hope to develop the story in the style of a fugue, so we'll just see what happens. P.S: I'm writing in the key of D minor just because I think D minor is pretty. If you want to hear a real fugue, go listen to Bach's Little Fugue in G Minor. Gorgeous.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, the anime of Magic Kaito would have followed the manga more closely. I can appreciate what they're doing with the whole Spider thing, but…still. Plus, I really want them to do an episode with Robo-Kaito. Who doesn't love Robo-Kaito?

…

Exposition

Hakuba Saguru's head hurt. A lot. And he knew precisely why.

The previous night at the party he'd been forced to attend, the other officers, most notably Nakamori-keibu, had insisted that he drink in celebration of their latest "victory" over Kid.

While he had sampled various wines and other alcoholic beverages in England at his mother's parties, seventeen year-old Saguru was no match for the hardened drinking machines that were the Division Two Kaitou Kid Taskforce officers.

And so now his head hurt, and the light from the window was shining in and hitting him in the face like an anvil. Not yet ready to crawl out of bed and into the shower, Saguru slowly rolled over on his left to escape the sunbeams. What he found to his left horrified him.

Kuroba Kaito was sleeping in his bed, curled up like a kitten around Hakuba's secondary pillow.

Saguru had to bite his tongue to hold in the scream while he searched his fragmented memories for any other explanation as to why the Kaitou Kid was in his bed naked.

Saguru did a quick inventory of his own attire and found himself in possession of his undershirt hanging off of one arm, his boxers down around his left ankle, and not much else.

Well. Bloody fantastic.

"Kuroba," Hakuba barked savagely, recoiling slightly at the sound of his own voice. He shook the other teen until the brunette was finally roused from sleep.

Kuroba rolled over and stretched out before coming over onto his other side and throwing a leg up possessively around Hakuba's hips.

The detective's face turned cherry tomato red, and he shoved the magician off. "What the hell, Kuroba?! What is the meaning of this?! Why are you in my bed!?"

The thief curled up like a pill bug at the harsh sound and gave a disoriented groan. "Ya put me here," (is at least what Hakuba suspected that his classmate had meant to say. Kuroba still seemed to be drunk, so the words were slurring together a great deal.) "After the bar. Dun no why. Said ya loved me, 'n then…" Kuroba half-heartedly lolled his head from side to side to indicate his ignorance. "Hurts."

"I…forced you to come here?" Hakuba gulped, just now noticing the bruising on his rival's upper arms, neck, and thighs.

"Un." Kuroba tried once again to hook his leg over Saguru's.

"Kuroba…I…I'm so sorry," the detective whispered, evading the magician's touch.

"Uun," Kuroba disagreed. "Like it rough. You said…love me, so…" The great thief settled for scooting closer and resting his head up against but not on Saguru's shoulder.

"Kuroba, you're still drunk. We'll discuss this later, after you're feeling better," Saguru assured, getting up and retreating to the bathroom to shower.

"Feel fine," Kuroba protested.

It wasn't until a few hours later that the alcohol seemed to have worn off for the most part. Kuroba sat up and stretched a little, lazily looking around for the blonde. Once he'd spotted his target, a satisfied half-smirk graced Kuroba's face. "Hey. Mornin'."

Saguru frowned. "Kuroba…do you remember much of what happened last night?"

"Yeah." The magician shrugged, seemingly perfectly comfortable sitting there nude in front of the man that was trying to put him behind bars. "I came with Aoko to make sure old man Nakamori got home safe, but we didn't know you'd be there too, so Aoko left me with you, but you kind of got _me_ drunk too. I guess I'm a real lightweight. I only had a few drinks, but I'm pretty sure I was waaaay worse off than you. Might be because I'm smaller, alcohol affects me more?"

"That's probably so." Hakuba chewed on his lip nervously and got up from his desk across the room to come closer to Kuroba. "Do you remember what happened after that?"

"Sorta." Kuroba shrugged nonchalantly. "I told you it was time to go home, so you took me home. I didn't think much of it until you started getting handsy. You pushed me down and started taking off my clothes, and I think I might have said no or something, but then you started telling me how you were in love with me, and…yeah…is that how you remember it, or am I forgetting something? Why the test, Saguru?"

Hakuba felt physically ill. "Oh, Kuroba…I'm so, so terribly sorry."

Kuroba raised a shoulder and quickly dropped it. "What? For hurting me? Saguru, it's bound to hurt the first time. Don't worry about it. It didn't hurt too bad, and it'll only get more comfortable with practice. "

"Kuroba…"

"Call me 'Kaito'," the battered boy urged.

The detective pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed. "Kuroba, I don't know what I said to you in order to get you to submit to…to _that_, but I can assure you that I am not in love with you. I'm sorry. I know there is no way for me to make this up to you, but please know that I am truly sorry and utterly appalled at my own behavior."

The indigo-eyed boy stared in confusion at his classmate, as if waiting for the other boy to say something else. Finally Kuroba muttered, "That's not really funny, Saguru."

"Kuroba, I'm not joking," Hakuba whispered.

The magician blinked slowly. "Saguru," he growled. "That's NOT funny."

"I assure you I am not joking. I was drunk. I don't remember anything between…about midnight last night and when I woke up this morning. Whatever I said to you, Kuroba, whatever I did to you, I do not remember it and I did not mean it and I am incredibly sorry. I do not love you, and I do not wish to be involved romantically with you." Hakuba sighed and looked pleadingly at the pitiable creature in his bed. "I am sorry, Kuroba."

Kuroba returned the pleading look, but only for a moment before his face hardened into the sour expression the teen normally wore when dealing with the detective.

"Fine," Kuroba snorted, standing and collecting his torn clothing.

The shirt had been ripped in several places, and it no longer had buttons, but Kuroba put it on anyway with as much dignity as he could muster as he tried his hardest not to flinch as he moved.

His entire body was sore, and he limped as he walked away.

Saguru stood to follow. He wasn't sure exactly what he planned on doing, but he knew he _had_ to do _something_. A gentleman simply didn't…ravish someone and then leave them to tend to themselves.

Kuroba, however, was not interested in being cared for or comforted.

"Leave me alone," he hissed in a way that told Saguru that it was in the detective's best interests to give the moonlighting thief some space or suffer bodily harm.

…

Kuroba was back in school the day after next, but Saguru could tell that the magician was still achy. He virtually ignored Aoko-kun and failed to attempt any kind of class disruption the entire day.

When the time came for PE and they were changing in the boys' locker room, Saguru couldn't help but notice the ugly purple and blue bruises marring Kuroba's arms and legs. Worse, their other classmates noticed as well.

"God, what happened to you, Kuroba?" Takahashi snorted when he caught sight of the marks.

The magician turned and pointed at Saguru, an impassive expression set into his face. "He got me drunk and raped me."

The entire locker room burst out in hushed whispers, gasps, and exclamations of disgust and disbelief.

And then Kaito laughed. "Sorry. That joke was kind of in bad taste, wasn't it?" He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck where hickeys were still visible. "No. I kind of ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time and tangoed with the wrong people. You should have seen the other guys, though."

A few of the guys surrounding Kaito broke into nervous laughter. Some of them bought the story, sighing in relief, while others still seemed unsure, turning to mutter to each other in quiet confusion.

Kuroba quickly changed and left ahead of everyone else, but, strangely enough, was not present for gym class or the remaining two classes of the day, for that matter.

After school let out, Saguru made his way to the nurse's office to check for the missing teen. He found Kuroba sound asleep on the cot by the window and quietly approached.

"Kuroba?" he whispered, not wanting to startle the boy if he were lying there awake, but also not wanting to disturb Kuroba if he were indeed asleep.

Kaito remained motionless on the bed, unaware of the detective slowly drawing near.

Saguru stood at the bedside for a minute, debating his next move. Before he could make up his mind, Kuroba stirred slightly, rolling over onto his back, drawing the blonde's attention to the still slumbering teen.

Truthfully, Kuroba looked rather serene as he slept. Saguru could see that he had a handsome face now that it wasn't contorted in some snarl or hiss or glare. Kuroba was actually fairly attractive now that Saguru really looked. His skin was a healthy peach color which darkened around his mouth into a rosy pink on his soft-looking lips…and into a sick-looking purple-blue-green on his neck where Saguru had undoubtedly used the other teen as a chew toy.

Saguru sighed, feeling absolutely wretched and vile, as he reached out to tuck the strand of hair that had fallen in Kaito's face behind the magician's ear.

It was at that moment when Kuroba's plum-colored eyes slowly slid open.

He blinked, remaining still for a moment until his surroundings could register. At seeing Saguru's hand stretched out towards him, the magician jumped, sitting up and scrambling away from Hakuba, accidentally tumbling off of the bed.

"Ow…" he hissed as he slowly pulled himself to his feet, keeping the bed between them.

"Kuroba! Are you quite alright?" Saguru floundered, making a move to come around to his classmate.

"Stay back," Kaito snapped, crossing his arms…or rather holding himself for protection. "Geez. What the hell, Hakuba? What? You come in here 'cause you decided you want another go at me? Sneak up on me while I'm sleeping? Forgo the alcohol and just straight up rape me this time?"

"Kuroba…" Saguru whispered, holding his hands up at chest level to try to calm the other teen. "Kuroba, I mean no harm. I simply…I'm concerned about you."

"Oh? Mr. Rapist is concerned about his victim? I bet," Kaito literally spat at the detective. "The only thing you're concerned about is keeping my mouth shut. You're worried about the scandal it'll cause when people find out what the Superintendent's son did, not me. I'm sure Daddy'll make this all go away for you, though. Isn't that always how it works?"

"Kuroba, my own wellbeing is not really of much concern right now. I am worried about _you_," Saguru stressed, wiping the spit from his cheek with the back of his hand. "I am aware I've done indelible harm to you, but I wish to somehow…I don't know. There is no making up for what I've done. I suppose I only wish to take responsibility for my actions and care for you."

Kaito blinked, the fierce look slowly melting off of his face and turning into confusion. "Care for me?"

"Yes," Saguru confirmed, looking the older teen straight in the eye. "If you were female, I would offer to marry you, but since that is not possible in Japan, I wish to fulfill that role for you in whatever way I possibly can. Until death do us part, I am at your service."

"You…you're saying you're going to be my boyfriend?" Kaito's brow was quickly furrowing. "But…you don't have feelings for me. You said so the other day that you didn't love me. Has that suddenly changed?"

Saguru's eyes widened and he gulped, blushing as he looked at the brunette. "I…" There was a high probability that Saguru was attracted to Kuroba. After all, in his inebriated state, when all of his barriers were down, he had gladly slept with the other male. If he were being honest, he'd have to admit that there had to be _something_ there, but did he love Kuroba? "No. No, Kuroba. You're very attractive, but I do not love you. It is my duty to provide for you."

"You think I want your pity?" Kaito whispered, fingers turning white as he gripped the side of the bed. "You think I want you to spend the rest of your life with me just because it's your duty? You think I want to play pretend with you and be in a loveless relationship my whole life?"

Saguru frowned. He hadn't intended for the magician to take it that way at all. "Kuroba…I…"

"Screw you!" Kaito snarled, shoving the bed so that it nailed Hakuba square in the gut, knocking the detective over in incredible pain.

"Bastard," Kaito hissed as he walked away, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

…

That night Saguru had a hard time sleeping. His memories of his night with Kuroba were coming back as he tossed and turned in the bed that they had shared. He was only half awake, and the memories were mixed into his dreams, so he couldn't be entirely sure what had really happened and what was simple fantasy, but the images were vivid.

Kuroba with half-lidded, violet eyes, hazy, but filled with lust. "Saguru!" he had gasped and moaned weakly as Hakuba had pummeled him into the mattress. Kuroba had positively writhed beneath him, twisting and arching his back, all the while repeating, "Saguru…Sa…guru…" like a chant until the words no longer held meaning.

And then, afterwards, with sweat collecting in beads from his brow down his torso and tears from the pain pooling in the corners of his eyes, Kuroba had looked up at him and smiled, whispering, "I love you."

To which Saguru had pledged his undying devotion and then covered the upper half of Kuroba's body in love bites.

Saguru sighed, rolling over onto his stomach so that he could bang his head against his pillow. Why was he such an idiot? Why had he forced himself on the magician-thief in the first place, and then why had he forgotten how mind-blowingly good it had been? Why hadn't he noticed that Kuroba was attractive before, and why hadn't he just manned up right then and there the morning it had happened and offered to take responsibility and care for Kuroba then? Why hadn't he just lied and said that he loved Kuroba? Why had he gone and gotten himself into such a mess?

Now Kuroba was hurt on so many different levels and Saguru was disgusted and disappointed in himself.

He tried to tell himself that he had been afraid. How could he—Detective Hakuba, the Superintendent of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police's son—be with the international jewel thief he was chasing? A criminal! Another man! When he'd woken up that morning and found Kuroba beside him, he'd been afraid for his reputation, yes, but, truthfully, he'd been more afraid of the change in their relationship dynamic. He wanted things to stay the way they had been between the two of them.

They'd fallen into a pattern together. They would tease and prank and press and antagonize just to the other's boiling point, and then they would back off. It was a delicate game of tug-o-war, and Saguru had found it thrilling. He'd been afraid of what a romantic relationship would mean for their rivalry…their unique brand of friendship.

But change had come anyway. There was no more playful teasing, no games, and no sport. Kuroba's smug attitude and smirks had frozen over and become death glares, filled with poison darts and unbridled hate. Kuroba's whole demeanor had become icy. Kuroba no longer considered Saguru a friendly rival. The detective was marked as an enemy.

Saguru had been scared of change, of commitment, and even of Kuroba Kaito himself, and he had lost the closest thing he had to a friend because of that fear.

He wished he had known. Before he opened his mouth and stupidly hurt the magician by renouncing all feelings for the brunette, he wished he had known that Kuroba hadn't simply ended up in his bed out of indifference to the idea. He wished he had known that Kuroba Kaito was in love with him.

Maybe then he would have thought through the situation more. Maybe then he would have given a relationship with the other teen a shot. Maybe then he could have saved their friendship.

But Saguru had panicked and pushed Kaito away, and now he was paying the price for it.

…

^ w ^

Mikau: (It's an evil grin!) And that's chapter one. Hopefully you enjoyed it. I know I'm being mean to poor Kaito, but…I get the impression that you guys like that. And it'll get worse before it gets better. I feel like I should insert an evil laugh there. (Bwahaha!) No, but I hope you liked it. Please drop me a review and let me know what you thought. I'm always so grateful for your feedback. Knowing what was good/bad/funny/lame always helps me to improve my work. It's hard to write for you guys, if I don't know what you like, so please send in your thoughts. And, as always, thanks for reading guys! Take care!


	2. Episode: Fugere To Flee

Mikau: Hello guys! Today I'm going on a skiing adventure! I think I'll just be learning how to break and stop and turn and move a little bit, but maybe I will get a little amateur skiing in. Wish me luck. Either way it'll be good for you. If all goes well, I'll probably have inspiration for some new fic. If I fall and break my leg, I'll be unable to do much for weeks and will have plenty of time for writing. Anyway, I want to thank Bunnyz-chan for reviewing, and thanks as well to the people who favorited the story. Truly, I'm very interested in knowing what exactly you liked for future reference, but I very much appreciate your support all the same. Hopefully you'll like this chapter as well. It's a little evil.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, there'd be a little more angst. The series has some really great fodder for angst with the characters' pasts and current situations, but it never seems to take full advantage.

…

Episode: Fugere "To Flee"

Thank God it was Friday. Kaito didn't think he could take anymore. School was…trying to say the least. He was an excellent actor, and his poker face was neigh impenetrable, but…it was hard. It was hard to get out of bed, put on his armor each morning and face his classmates…and Aoko…and Hakuba Saguru.

It was difficult to walk into that classroom with his head held high, pretending that everything was fine. He tried hard to present an outward image of a tough, unshakable young man when, on the inside, he felt like he was out at sea in a rowboat in the middle of a typhoon.

It took every ounce of his courage to go to school each day. He knew he was just being paranoid, but he couldn't shake the feeling that his classmates _knew_. Every time someone looked at him, he imagined them laughing at him, thinking things like, _"He's a reject", "Hakuba dumped him because he's not good enough", "Kuroba's such a loser", "What a dope, thinking that Hakuba actually liked him", _or _"What a dumb slut"._

Kaito had made that crack in the locker room about Hakuba getting him drunk and using him, but he seriously doubted that anyone had really believed him. He knew that no one knew, that no one was actually thinking such horrible things about him, and _that_ was what really got to him. He resented the lack of control over himself now when he had always prided himself on it before. Even though he knew it was all in his head, it still felt so real.

He felt used, betrayed, and disgraced. Hakuba had made him feel "less"…inferior, and it really threw a wrench in his gears.

Kaito had been tricked. He'd been lulled into a false sense of security by the blonde's vows and poeticism. True, he had been slobbering drunk at the time…as had the detective…but Kaito had known what he was doing. He could have fought back harder. He could have gotten away, but he hadn't. He'd willingly submitted as the other teen had ripped off his clothes, thrown him down on the bed, and mercilessly pounded him into the mattress. He'd willingly shown Hakuba his entire hand as he moaned and gasped the detective's name…revealing his most embarrassing secret: that he was head over heels in love with the infuriating blonde.

Another thing that grated his nerves was how Hakuba made him feel now, after the fact. Kaito was embarrassed, ashamed of how he felt towards the other boy. He still loved Saguru, and that made him furious. He felt angry and sick that he still cared for someone who had grossly abused him.

He was scared of his anger. It was intense. So intense that he found himself wanting to kill the detective. If he let his mind wonder, it often turned to dark thoughts of murder, and that was terrifying.

In all of this: the sadness, the shame, the anger, and the hurt, Kaito felt lost. His head was always swimming in this volatile cocktail of powerful emotions, and he was just waiting for something to explode. It was exhausting, and it made him feel helpless. It was like he was that small child that had just lost his father all over again.

And that thought led to others: feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, failure, regret.

His father had managed perfectly well to get the girl, outwit the crime syndicate, and keep a balanced friendship with his own pursuers.

His father would have been able to save Nightmare.

His father would have dodged bullets better and wouldn't have made everyone worry.

His father wouldn't have screwed things up with Aoko. He would have found some way to make things work without all the lies and let downs.

His father would have been smarter, faster, wiser, and nobler.

Kaito was nothing like his father.

Kuroba Kaito was Kuroba Kaito: a scared, lonely, fatherless brat with a little skill, a little talent, and a lot of luck that hid behind various masks. Kuroba Kaito was a fake. An exceptional actor, but nothing more.

"Are you okay?" Aoko whispered, jarring Kaito from his thoughts.

It was last period on a Friday. Fifteen more minutes. He could make it.

Kaito put on a soft smile and shrugged. "Yeah. Just tired. I haven't been feeling well lately."

Aoko nodded, biting her lip and looking like she wanted to say more.

He chuckled, poking her on the nose. "Stop worrying. You're gonna get wrinkles, Ahoko."

Normally that did the trick, but this time Aoko just frowned in response.

"Is that why you were absent earlier this week?" Her sapphire blue eyes pierced through him.

His stomach twisted at the mention of that day. He'd limped home and took a scalding shower before smashing some plates and then collapsing into his bed, crying bitterly and screaming so loud he was surprised that the neighbors hadn't called the police.

"Y-Yeah." He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Stomach bug. It's just a stomach bug."

"You don't take proper care of yourself, Kaito," Aoko snorted lightly, looking sadly back down at her textbook.

Kaito chewed on his bottom lip in thought. "Hey. Wanna walk home together today?"

Aoko looked back up, blinking rapidly in surprise. She tilted her head to the side, as if she wondered if she had really heard him correctly.

"I mean…I was just thinking that it had been a while since we'd done that. You can go ahead and walk with Keiko, if you want. I don't really care." Kaito shrugged, looking away in embarrassment, but trying to play it cool.

"N-No! Aoko would like that! …Very much." She smiled, a rosy blush flooding her cheeks.

"Y-Yeah? Cool." Kaito tried to act nonchalant, but he couldn't keep a grin down.

There was a comfortable silence between them as they made their way home, shoulders and hands brushing occasionally.

Kaito slowly came to a stop by the railroad tracks going over the drainage canal.

The sun was setting, casting the warm glow of twilight on Aoko's face.

He smiled as he looked at her.

"W-What?" Aoko shifted uncomfortably when she realized that his eyes were on her.

He shook his head, stepping in closer and taking her hands loosely in his own. "Aoko?"

"Y-Yes?" She looked like she wanted to flee, but fear was paralyzing her legs. It was like her feet were stuck to fly paper.

He leaned in and gently brushed his lips to hers as she tensed and screwed her eyes shut.

"Will you go out with me?" he whispered as he drew back, still lightly grasping her hands.

Slowly her cornflower blue eyes slid open, and she stared expressionlessly at her best friend as she began to panic on the inside.

Kaito tried hard to keep his face impassive, but little bits of anxiety were leaking out through his eyes.

Hope was shining through as well, and Aoko hated that she was about to crush it.

She closed her eyes, shaking her head as she stepped back, pulling her hands from his. "Aoko can't. Not now. Not the way things are now."

"W-Why not?" Kaito asked like a small child, even though he already knew all of the reasons.

"Kaito…just isn't Kaito anymore," she responded softly, shifting her gaze up and looking him in the eye. "Kaito, you've changed over this past year or so. You're not the way you were before. _We're_ not the way we were before. It feels like you're far away, even though you're right next to Aoko, and Aoko hates it. You're not the Kaito that Aoko…that Aoko once loved. We're like strangers now, and Aoko can't go out with someone she barely knows. Sorry, Kaito. Aoko knows that somewhere in there you're still her very best friend and the guy she loves, but…until that Kaito comes back, Aoko can't go out with you. Sorry. Aoko…Aoko will keep waiting. Sorry." She tossed the last apology over her shoulder as she turned and ran, desperate to get away so that she wouldn't have to see that look on Kaito's face any longer.

It looked like he'd been slapped in the face. There was shock and disbelief and absolute hurt there.

Kaito stood there for a long time, watching the sun go down. Part of him was waiting for her to come back laughing, bragging about how she'd sure got him. Part of him was still honestly hoping that she was joking.

True, as she'd said, he _had_ changed, but people changed, didn't they? They learned and grew and changed. But she had said that he wasn't Kaito anymore. If he wasn't Kaito, who the hell was he?

Regardless, one hard truth remained: he could no longer go back. No matter how long she waited, Aoko would never see the Kaito she loved. That Kaito was dead, and if she couldn't accept the man he'd become, to hell with her!

Only, he didn't feel that way at all. She deserved the old Kaito. Though immature and too embarrassed to confess his true feelings, the old Kaito had been utterly sincere and devoted to his beloved. The new Kaito cunningly deceived her, he lied, and he broke his promises to her. He no longer put her first where she belonged. The new Kaito wasn't worthy of that sweet, innocent, and loving creature that was Nakamori Aoko. She deserved the Prince Charming to her spunky and charming Princess role.

No. Kaito was the one who wasn't good enough. He hadn't been good enough for Hakuba, and he certainly wasn't good enough for Aoko. Why had he even thought that she'd say yes? He was not having that kind of luck this week.

The unfortunate teen trudged the rest of the way home, feeling numb. Every once in a while a small sample of an emotion would slip through—a pinch of bitterness, an ounce of remorse, a sliver of grief. For the most part, Kaito's poker face remained bolted down, reining in the swirling maelstrom of feelings that could be at that point.

He eventually came to his house and cast the Nakamori residence just down the street a longing glance before letting himself in, whispering, "I'm home" to the empty abode.

His mother was in the States at the moment, and Chikage wasn't due to return for at least another week or so. And "another week" often became two or three.

Kaito debated going upstairs and curling up in his bed, but his stomach protested, so he headed to the kitchen. He considered smashing more plates, but the thought just didn't seem satisfying this time.

He wasn't angry…at least, not at Aoko. With Hakuba, he had been incensed at the blonde for what Hakuba had done to him. This time there was no one to blame but himself. Breaking the plates as a scapegoat wouldn't do any good. He'd rather tear himself apart verbally.

"_Not healthy,"_ he mentally sighed, trying to keep his mind blank.

His stomach growled again, demanding attention.

"_Focus on food."_ He nodded, resolving to get dinner and then sleep the rest of the weekend away as he made his way over to the fridge.

Which was, for all intents and purposes, empty. He couldn't exactly make a meal out of expired milk, tomatoes, and a pack of nattou.

Next he turned to the cabinets and found them insolently bare.

With a grunt of annoyance, Kaito grabbed the jar of peanut butter along with the half-loaf of bread off the counter. He fished out a plate and a knife and began to prepare "dinner".

At least it would shut his stomach up.

Only the knife slipped out of his hand and clattered to the floor.

Kaito stared at it a minute and sighed before bending down to pick it back up. As he stood up, his head hit the lip of the counter. He stumbled back, hand instinctively going to the injured part of his skull and accidentally knocking the plate with the half-finished sandwich off of the counter.

Kaito ended up on the floor along with the sandwich (peanut butter-side down, of course), the knife, and the remains of one of his mother's favorite plates.

Figures.

He laughed bitterly at his hideous streak of bad luck. What else could go wrong? He couldn't even make a sandwich without ending up hurt with a freaking mess to clean up, for crying out loud! What next? Nakamori was probably going to realize he was Kid and come throw him in jail after ranting his ears off.

Soon the maniacal laughter turned to tears, and he sat there on the kitchen floor and cried.

That was it. That was the very last straw. He couldn't take anymore! He just couldn't! Talk about kick a guy when he's down and adding insult to injury.

Kaito sat there and cried, rocking back and forth as he held himself.

Eventually the tears abated, and he slumped over onto the floor. The cool tiles felt good on his cheek.

He sighed and wiped the tears and snot from his face with his sleeve, feeling miserable. What was wrong with him, crying like a baby like that? It was shameful. His father…no. Kaito wasn't his father…and he never would be.

Kaito rolled over and slowly got up, grabbing another slice of bread and a new knife out of the drawer. He put a dollop of peanut butter on the bread and folded it in half, stuffing it in his mouth without bothering to even spread the peanut butter.

"_There. Dinner,"_ he mentally snorted, carefully stepping over the mess of broken glass on his way upstairs.

He'd clean up later. Maybe. His first priority was to get something for his headache. His head was throbbing from when it'd come in contact with the underside of the kitchen counter. He hooked a left at the top of the stairs and headed into the bathroom to raid the medicine cabinet.

After a minute of searching, he finally spotted the aspirin in the back next to his mom's sleeping pills.

His hand paused mid-reach.

Sleeping pills.

He extended his hand towards the bottle and then pulled back quickly as if he'd been zapped by a burst of static electricity.

He couldn't…could he? He shouldn't…but…it wouldn't hurt. It'd make all the pain go away. The rejection, the humiliation, the anger, the feelings of failure and inadequacy. And no one would really miss him, would they?

Aoko and his mom's faces flashed in the back of his mind.

They'd miss him terribly…but then they'd be free. They'd mourn, but then Aoko could stop waiting on the Kaito she loved, a man who was never coming back, and move on, finding true love…probably with Hakuba. And his mom could finally truly run away just like she'd been trying to do for years. He knew she only came back to Japan because he was there. He was tying Chikage down. If he were gone, there would be nothing holding her back. She was still young enough to start over.

They'd miss him, alright, but they'd be better off for his death.

He stretched out his hand and took the pill bottle, opening it quickly before he lost his resolve.

Swallowing the first capsule was hard. His hand was shaking as he pressed it to his lips, and he held it in his mouth for nearly a minute before he actually managed to get it down. After several false starts, he swallowed the second one as well, and the third one came pretty easily after that. Swallowing the rest was like popping tic tacs.

It took a while for the pills to start working. At least it seemed to. He really had no sense of time. It had seemed like forever, but it could have just been minutes. He felt woozy, and the lines of the room started to blur. Gripping the wall to steady himself, Kaito slowly slid to the floor.

Just before he lost consciousness, Hakuba Saguru's face floated to the surface of his thoughts.

"I love you," the phantom image whispered, a scene replayed from that night that felt so far away now. "I love you," Hakuba swore.

"_What a cruel joke,"_ Kaito thought as he slipped away, _"thinking of that guy just before I die."_

…

It smelled like hospital. Kaito really hated hospitals.

The magician cracked an eye open, but his vision was a little blurry. After a few rounds of blinking, things finally came into focus, and he discovered that he was in fact in a hospital. And Kuroba Chikage was curled up next to him in an uncomfortable-looking chair with her head resting on his hospital bed next to his elbow.

"_Crap,"_ he sighed inwardly, shifting slightly in hopes of gently rousing her. Best to get it over with.

That did the trick. Chikage jerked away like a student caught sleeping in class.

"Kaito!" she gasped, stumbling to her feet so she could lunge forward and squeeze her son to death in a spine-cracking embrace. "Kaito!" she cried again. "Kaito!"

"Hey, Mom," he whispered, letting his head rest against hers. "Weren't you supposed to be in California or something for another week?"

She pulled back and studied his face with tears overflowing in her eyes. "I just…I knew I had to get home. You didn't sound right when we talked the other day, and…I just knew. I saw the mess in the kitchen, and when I went upstairs, I saw you collapse, and I…I saw my pill bottle on the floor and…Kaito…Baby, what's wrong?"

Kaito shut his eyes and shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

A pained look took over Chikage's face. "Kaito, Honey, this is serious. The doctors…they saw the scars from when you got hurt…at work. I told them you were a magician and that you'd gotten hurt working on your tricks, but…you have scars from some serious injuries, Kaito, and I can't explain them. They think you've been hurting yourself, and there's nothing I can do to prove them wrong."

Kaito slowly opened his eyes and gave his mother a wary look. "What's gonna happen, then?"

"They're going to keep you at the hospital over the weekend for observation. If that goes well, I know some people, and I've gotten them to agree to let me take care of you at home, instead of keeping you here. You'll have to see the psychologist every day, though. Katsuragi-sensei. The same woman you talked to after…after Touichi… You're going to have to work with us, though, Kaito. Please." She reached out and stroked her son's cheek. "Honey, I've been hospitalized before…after your father's death…and it's horrible. I don't want to see you locked up, so please, Kaito, please."

He nodded, leaning into her hand. "You know Hakuba Saguru?"

Chikage smiled at the name. "That detective that you're head over heels for?"

He sighed. "We got drunk at one of the Taskforce's parties and had sex." His cheeks were burning as he looked down at his hands. "He kept going on about how he loved me while he was wasted, but as soon as he sobered up the next morning, it turned out it was all a lie. And then he goes and offers to marry me or whatever since I'm damaged goods now, the prick. And then I asked Aoko out and got dumped. It was a bad week, Mom."

"Oh, Baby," she cooed, pressing a kiss to his forehead. She gave him a squeeze. "My poor baby. It's okay. That just means that there's someone even better out there just waiting for you. I know the first guy I slept with…I thought we were going to grow old together, but if I had stayed with that loser, I never would have met Touichi. There are greater forces at work here, Kaito, and they work in mysterious ways beyond our human comprehension. All of this garbage is just stuff you have to wade through in order to get to your own happy ending."

"Are you happy?" he muttered into her shoulder.

"I _was_ happy," she assured. "Genuinely happy…and now I'm content." She lightly patted him on the cheek.

"I'm sorry," Kaito whispered. "I'm sorry for being a coward. I'm not like Dad."

Chikage pulled back and stared at her child. "Kaito, you're not a coward. I personally think it takes balls to try to kill yourself. You're not a coward. You're just tired. Us puny humans can only handle so much before we crumple under the weight of it all. You're just tired from carrying too much all on your own. And…you're just like Touichi in all the ways that count." She poked him in the chest, right over his heart. "As for the rest of you…sorry. You're just like your mother."

They chuckled softly, and he leaned in and touched his forehead to hers. "That's not a bad thing, you know. I've got a pretty kickass mom."

"Hell yeah, you do," she snorted, pulling back and giving his perpetually messy hair a good tussle. "Now I'm going to go call for the doctors. I'll be right back."

"'Kay." He nodded, adjusting himself so that he was more comfortable in his bed.

Chikage stopped in the doorway and turned back to her boy. "Kaito?"

"Yeah?" Kaito cocked his head to the side.

"Honey, you're strong like your parents. You're gonna get through this."

He smiled softly. "Yeah."

…

Mikau: Yes, I'm evil. Let me take this opportunity to remind you that you love me. 0.0 At least I think you do. Right? Haha. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the continued Kaito torture. Please let me know what you thought, and take care until next time!


	3. Development

Mikau: Good afternoon! Skiing was a blast last week, by the way. I may go again tomorrow. I only got to go down the baby hills last time, and I kind of want to ride the lift and go down the big kid slope. Anyway, thank you for joining me once again. Hopefully you'll like this chapter as well. And thanks to Bunnyz-chan who reviewed last chapter!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd quickly run out of ways to kill people using duct tape and piano wire. Seriously. As I've learned from Detective Conan, you can murder people in dozens of creative ways if you have piano wire and duct tape!

…

Development

Kuroba was not at school on Monday. Now, normally that wouldn't have bothered Hakuba too much. It wasn't uncommon for the class clown to skip every once in a while; however, in light of current events, Saguru was concerned.

During lunch he cautiously approached Nakamori Aoko (who was looking a little pallid, now that he actually looked at her). "Excuse me, Aoko-kun?"

The inspector's daughter jumped like a spooked cat. "H-Hakuba-kun… W-What did you need?"

"Sorry. I just…" Saguru shifted awkwardly. "Would you happen to know what's become of Kuroba? I noticed that the two of you walked home together on Friday…. Did he mention not feeling well or planning to play hooky? Sorry. It's just that he…hasn't been himself lately, and I'm a little…worried about him."

A troubled expression formed on the girl's face, and she slowly looked away. "Kaito…Kaito is in the hospital. Aoko saw the ambulance come take him away on Friday."

"Good God, is he alright?!" Saguru could feel the blood draining from his face as his heart jumped up into his throat. "Which hospital? Is he still there? How's his condition?"

Aoko visibly shrank as the detective frantically pressed her for answers. She shook her head. "Chikage-san—his mother—told Aoko he has the flu, but…"

"We all know _that's_ not true," Akako hissed softly as she walked past, not looking at either Hakuba or Aoko. "After what you did to him." There was venom in those words.

Each teen, unaware of what the other had done, supposed the witch to be talking to them personally. Aoko and Saguru winced as guilt stabbed them like a knife being twisted in their side, just below the ribcage. Both wondered how in the world the witch had come to know what had transpired between them and Kaito.

Aoko had her guesses about what had really happened to Kaito. She covered her face with her hands and tried to hold back tears. _"It's all my fault."_

Saguru remained oblivious to the true meaning of Akako's words. He sighed. "Kuroba probably collapsed from dehydration or exhaustion or hunger or something. He probably hasn't been taking proper care of himself."

The following day, Kaito was absent as well, but come Wednesday, the magician returned to school looking pale and a little thinner than he had the previous week.

Aoko had timidly welcomed him back, and during lunch she had asked him up to the roof to talk. After that, she spent the rest of the afternoon looking like she wanted to melt into the floorboards. She did her best to be invisible, and Kuroba practically ignored her existence.

Though, Saguru hardly noticed all this. He was too busy planning what he himself was going to say to the magician.

After school let out, he walked up to Kaito's desk before the other teen could get away. "Kuroba…"

Kaito ignored the blonde and continued packing up his things as if Hakuba wasn't there.

"Kuroba, I heard that you were in the hospital."

Kaito froze.

"I heard from Aoko-kun."

The hair started to stand up on Kaito's arms, and his face was burning, as red as flames. _"How dare she tell him of all people why I was in there. It's bad enough that she figured it out."_

"Yeah? I was in the hospital," Kaito snapped, flinging the rest of his belongings into his bag. "So what? Ya gonna make something of it? Come to rub it in my face?"

Saguru was developing a bit of a twitch in his left eye. Why did the blasted thief have to be so much like a bloody Chihuahua? Always yapping and snarling and putting on a show. Always pretending to be a big, scary dog when he was just a short, skinny magician that Saguru could probably judo throw across the room.

"Why yes," Saguru retorted sharply. "Yes, I am going to make something of it because it's kind of a big deal, Kuroba. You landed yourself in the hospital, for God's sake!"

"And whose fault is that, do ya think?!" Kaito barked back, nearly biting through his lip.

"_Yours_, you sodding idiot! You never would have gotten the flu if you'd just take care of yourself!" Saguru scolded, tempted to shove the older teen.

Kaito opened his mouth to shout back, but he subsequently shut it as the meaning of Hakuba's words permeated his skull. "The flu?"

"Yes." Saguru's eyes narrowed. "Didn't you have the flu? That's what Aoko-kun said that your mother said that you had. Was that not what you were hospitalized for?"

"Uh…yeah. Stomach flu," Kaito mumbled, his gaze dropping to his sneakers. Suddenly he felt tired…drained from the emotional rollercoaster he'd been on the past week. Well, so long as Hakuba didn't know the real reason he'd been in the hospital.

"Well, it must have been pretty serious if you were hospitalized since Friday," the Brit snorted. "Kuroba, you must eat regularly and get enough sleep. And make sure to take whatever medicine the doctors have given you."

The mention of "medicine" made Kaito bristle. He didn't need those stupid pills. He didn't even believe that antidepressants actually worked in the first place.

"Who are you? My mother? Stop acting like you care," Kaito hissed, turning to leave.

"Kuroba, wait," Saguru sighed, following the brunette as he made a hasty retreat.

"No. Go away," Kaito sulked, speeding up his gait. "You're gonna make me late for my doctor's appointment."

"Kuroba," Saguru protested, reaching out and catching the boy by his shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Kaito exploded, yanking away and holding the arm Saguru had grabbed to his chest as if it were injured. "Don't f-ing touch me! Just leave me the hell alone!"

That stopped Saguru in his tracks, uncertain of what to do next. He just wanted so desperately to help, but he didn't know how. Perhaps the best thing he could do would be to leave the hurting teen alone? But he couldn't just abandon Kuroba. Then again, Kuroba obviously didn't want the blonde around. That settled it. Saguru would retreat.

…

It was a few hours later that Hakuba Saguru found himself standing on the Kurobas' front porch, wondering where his resolve had gone. As he had suspected, he couldn't just leave Kuroba alone.

The door slowly opened, and Saguru stuck his foot in before Kaito could slam it shut once more.

"Hey!" Kaito protested as Saguru pushed past the smaller teen and into the entryway. "Breaking and entering!"

"You let me in." Saguru rolled his eyes. "Please pardon the intrusion."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Kaito grumbled, hands on his hips. "Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?"

"I did. For four whole hours," Saguru replied, pushing a paper bag and a thermos at Kaito, shoving them into his chest so that he would be forced to take them.

"What the hell is this?" Kaito blinked, taking ahold of the items before they dropped to the floor.

"The thermos contains an easy-to-digest stew. Don't worry; it's all vegetable-based," Saguru assured.

Kaito's eyes widened. "How did you know…?"

"What? That you're something of a vegetarian?" Saguru gave a little amused snort as he smirked. "Clearly you underestimate the amount of time I spend investigating you. I'm very thorough in my research."

"Oh," Kaito replied a little stupidly, his cheeks turning crimson.

"In the bag are various herbs, teas, healthy snacks, and supplements. Baaya swears by this stuff, so I thought I'd bring it over. There are instructions in there too," Saguru explained helpfully.

"Why are you doing this?" Kaito whispered, trying to stomp down the sparks of hope welling up within him.

"It's my duty to care for the mother of my unborn child, isn't it?" Saguru snickered, putting a hand on Kaito's stomach.

"Bastard," Kaito hissed under his breath, pushing the detective away. (Unfortunately, the entryway in which they were standing was quite narrow, and so the distance between them was still no more than an arm's length. "I've got the stomach flu, not morning sickness."

"Sorry," Saguru returned. "That was wildly inappropriate, and I'm being cruelly insensitive. Really, Kuroba, it's because I care about you. It might not be in the way you want me to, but I care about you. You're my friend…my rival… I know it might be too much to ask you to still think of me in that fashion, but I want you to know that I still consider you to be my friend. We might not be able to go back to being the way we were, but I want you to know that I'll never stop caring about you."

"Stop it," Kaito whispered, his body starting to shake.

"No," Hakuba intoned firmly. "Kuroba, I know you live by yourself the majority of the time. Clearly you're unable to care for yourself on your own right now, so I want you to come stay with me. Baaya and I will tend to you."

"No," Kaito mumbled, screwing his eyes closed.

"Come with me," Saguru repeated, reaching out and putting a hand on Kaito's upper arm. "Come stay with me, and I'll take care of you. I'll worry too much, leaving you here by yourself."

"God, could you be any bigger of a dick?!" Kaito snapped. "For a detective, you're f-ing dense. Do you honestly have no idea how you make me feel?! Stop toying with me, you self-righteous prick! Leave me the hell alone!"

"Kaito?" Chikage called as she darted out of the kitchen, through the living room, and into the entry hall. She stopped mid-step when she saw Hakuba Saguru standing in her doorway. The worry on her face morphed into detestation, and she bared her teeth as she seethed, "Get your damn hand off of my son."

"M-Mom…" Kaito stuttered as Saguru released his hold on Kaito's arm.

"Kaito, Honey, go to your room and lie down for a bit." Chikage's expression softened for her boy.

With a nod and a fleeting look back at Saguru, Kaito was gone, up the stairs.

Saguru gulped. "Mrs. Kuroba. I'm sorry. I was unaware that you were home."

"How dare you come here," Chikage muttered, stalking forward like a panther. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing? Huh?" Her body was shaking in fury.

"I-I-I'm sorry. I was under the impression that Kuroba…-kun was alone. I had heard he was in the hospital, and—"

"—And whose fault do you think that was?" the angry mother roared.

"I…He…Mine. Definitely mine," Saguru cowered. "And so I brought over some soup and tea and…and I was trying to persuade him to come stay with me so that I could ensure he was properly cared for. He doesn't eat and sleep like he should when you're not home, you know. He won't take proper care of himself, and so…"

"Just who do you think you are?" Chikage growled from deep in her throat as she came to a stop a mere foot from her son's assaulter. She leaned in with her hands on her hips and glared pitchforks through him. "What do you think gives you the right to even speak to Kaito after what you did?"

Saguru closed his eyes with a sigh, leaning back against the front door. "Madame, I am excruciatingly aware that I have royally screwed up. I don't even need a full hand to count the number of friends I have, and your son was, by far, the best of them. I know I've made a mess of things, and you cannot beat me up any worse than I continue to beat myself daily. I am appalled at my behavior. I'm absolutely repulsed, and I am desperate to make amends, and so I ask you, Madame, what would you have me do? What would _he_ have me do?" Saguru met Chikage's eyes, begging, pleading with his gaze.

She sighed and stepped back. "Love him. Truly love him. Until then, stay the hell away from my son. Superintendent's son or not, if you go near my boy again, they will never find your body."

…

It was nearly several weeks later that Kid finally scheduled another heist.

Saguru kind of had a feeling that he wasn't invited, if Kuroba's hostile attitude towards him was anything to go by. The brunette only spoke to him when it was unavoidable, and, even then, the words that came out of his mouth were barbed, hurtful and cold. Kuroba hurled insults and slurs. He took cheap shots and dealt low blows.

Somehow the blatant barrage of attacks didn't really bother the normally thin-skinned half-Brit. The whole situation seemed sad. Kuroba had become like a small, injured animal backed into a corner. He lashed out furiously in a mixture of fear, shame, and pain.

Saguru wasn't surprised when Kid dyed the blonde's hair chartreuse and scribbled "Chauvinistic Pig" on his forehead in permanent marker at the heist. He took it in stride. He assumed Kuroba's wrath would subside given time. He was banking on the hope that Kuroba's anger and resentment would fizzle out soon.

When an additional month later things were still just about the same, Saguru decided that something had to be done. Not for his own sake, but for Kuroba's.

Kuroba was not getting any better. He brooded throughout class, ignoring his former friends and remaining oddly silent. He'd lost his playful nature and had become bitter and irritable. His once self-satisfied air had deteriorated into a constant storm of annoyance, hate, hostility, and self-loathing. The person that the magician had become was not the Kuroba Kaito that everyone had once known and loved.

Kuroba was not moving on. He was fixating on the hurt, betrayal, and rejection of that morning, and it was turning him into an ugly person. He was letting that one event ruin him. Something had to be done to get him out of that rut and force him to move forward.

After a little bit of internet research on the language of flowers, Saguru purchased a single stem of purple hyacinth and left it on Kuroba's desk along with a milk chocolate truffle filled with chocolate crème.

Kuroba had stomped into the classroom, sulking like usual, but he stopped and stared when he caught sight of the flowers and chocolate on his desk. He glanced curiously around the room and blinked a few times, slightly puzzled as he picked up the flower and studied it.

In flower language, purple hyacinth means "I'm truly sorry; please forgive me."

Kuroba leaned in and gave the hyacinth a tentative sniff, a small shadow of a smile coming to his lips. He set it back down at the corner of his desk and took a seat as he picked up the little ball of chocolate.

Kuroba's back was now to the blonde, so Saguru couldn't see his reaction to the sweet as well as the one to the flower, but judging from the fact that the magician slowly nibbled on the treat through homeroom, doing his best to savor it, Saguru surmised that Kaito enjoyed his gift.

The next day, Saguru left an identical present for the brunette and pretended to be engrossed in a book when Kuroba entered the classroom, secretly observing the thief.

Kuroba blinked and made an interested little "Hn" noise when he saw the flowers and chocolate the second day. This time, a tiny grin bloomed on his lips as he picked up the hyacinth to give its scent a long inhale. He sat down and set to work on his truffle, stretching it out for as long as possible just like he had the day before.

On day three, Kuroba trotted into the classroom and up to his desk, obviously curious to see if he would be receiving chocolates and flowers a third day in a row.

The fourth day, Kaito strolled into the room confidently and smiled broadly when he saw his gifts waiting for him.

On the fifth day, he popped the entire truffle into his mouth at once and looked smug for the rest of the day.

Kuroba Kaito was slowly becoming more like himself in the classroom. On day five, he flipped Aoko's skirt during third period and laughed maniacally as she chased him around the room. He even scrounged up the energy to dye a few students' hair neon rainbow colors.

On the first day of week two, Saguru left fifteen red roses and a chocolate bonbon decorated to look like a teddy bear on Kuroba's desk. Again, with the number of roses signifying "I'm sorry."

Kaito stopped in his tracks and his eyes widened when he saw the roses.

"Looks like someone's got a crush on you," Sasaki laughed, elbowing his classmate.

Kuroba frowned. "Or someone's trying to apologize pretty hard," he mumbled, glancing back at the blonde detective.

Hakuba seemed to be absorbed in his novel.

"Some poor girl's sure got it bad," Wakabayashi snickered, clapping Kaito on the back.

Kuroba hummed, cocking his head to the side as he considered the flowers. He looked back at Saguru—who pointedly avoided eye contact—and then leaned in to smell the roses. He smiled sadly, looking away. "Yeah. No. I doubt it. I kind of get the feeling that these are sympathy flowers."

The following day another fifteen-rose bouquet and animal-shaped bonbon were left on the magician's desk.

Kaito gave out fourteen of the roses to the girls in the class, keeping only one and the chocolate for himself.

After school that day Kaito hesitantly approached Saguru's desk. "Hey."

The detective looked up, surprised that Kuroba appeared to be fairly calm. "Good evening, Kuroba."

"You're the one sending the flowers, aren't you?" The magician indicated the remaining rose in his hand.

"Why would I send you flowers and chocolates?" Saguru played innocent.

"To say sorry. That's what hyacinths and fifteen roses mean." Kaito stood his ground. "You're trying to placate me and get me to allow you to 'care' for me."

Saguru smiled sheepishly. "Is it working?"

"No," Kaito mumbled, eyes flickering down and away. "Why would you want to spend the rest of your life in a loveless relationship? Why are you so stuck on this 'taking care' of me thing?"

"Because I can't stand seeing you like this," Saguru admitted.

Kaito's gaze snapped back up to stare incredulously at Hakuba. He had fully expected his crush to spout some nonsense about it being his duty, as if Kaito were some glass figurine that Hakuba had broken and was now obligated to pay for because no one else would want it the way it was now.

"What?" Kaito whispered, unsure that he had heard correctly.

"I can't stand seeing you hurt like this. You don't laugh, you don't smile, you just brood. You're bitter and angry, and, Kuroba, I can't tolerate it any longer. I don't care if you despise me; I want you to get through this, move on, and be happy. Just go back to being happy…the way you were before I carelessly broke you. And if you can't shake your feelings for me, know that I am here, at your service at any time. I want nothing more than to care for you and help undo the damage I've done." Those golden eyes looked up at him, pleading for him to surrender and allow Hakuba in.

"No," Kaito muttered, looking away, but gripping his rose tightly. "You just feel guilty. You don't love me, and I don't want to trap you. You'll only end up resenting me later." With a pitiful sigh, Kaito walked away.

…

Saguru continued to leave flowers and chocolates on Kaito's desk every morning, and slowly another month trickled away.

Saguru spent the month watching his classmate closely. Kuroba was gradually coming back to life. He was pranking people again and sending out heist notes every other week or so. Kuroba was laughing again and interacting with his friends.

After observing the thief for weeks on end, Hakuba Saguru was fed up with just watching. He wanted in. He wanted a place in Kuroba's life. He wanted to talk with the brunette, to laugh with him, to spend time with him, to touch him. More than anything he wanted on the other side of the barrier Kuroba had thrown up between them.

And so one Monday he left a single lavender rose and a heart-shaped box of assorted chocolates on Kuroba's desk.

The magician carefully picked up the rose with a frown, as if the flower might bite him.

"Enchantment?" he mumbled, studying the purple rose skeptically.

He set it back down on the desk and started on his chocolates, but he glanced at the rose occasionally throughout the day, at a loss as to its meaning.

The next day, two red roses took the place of the lavender one and made Kaito drop his books when he saw them.

Two red roses—mutual feelings.

Kuroba glanced at Saguru who smiled gently back at him. Kaito's entire face went red, and he spent the rest of the day shifting uncomfortably, zoning out, and even picking the petals off of the roses, seemingly doing that "He loves me; he loves me not" charm.

Judging from Kuroba's face, both roses had indicated that Saguru loved him.

The next day it was three red roses: "I", "Love", "You".

Just the sight of those flowers had sent Kuroba running to the nurse's office to hide out for the rest of the day.

Kuroba was asleep on the cot closest to the window when Saguru went to see him after school, so the detective left the roses and chocolate on the small table beside the bed.

He tore a sheet of paper out of one of his notebooks and scrawled a short note: "I'm truly sorry. I never meant to upset you. I love you, Kuroba Kaito."

He put the note with the presents and left.

Kuroba's face had been red and puffy with tear tracks worn down his cheeks.

Saguru's confession had obviously been emotionally rattling for the poor, confused brunette, and so it was probably best to leave it at that for the day.

…

Mikau: I feel like Hakuba needs a good shaking. "Can't you see what you're doing to that poor boy?!" and all that, you know? For a detective, he can be so dense. Kaito's take on things next chapter, and after that we'll just have one very long final chapter to go. Please let me know what you thought of it. I see a lot of people are reading/favoriting/following, but without the reviews I'm kind of at a loss as to what exactly you like about it. If you have time, I'd appreciate some feedback. Thanks a bunch, and have a wonderful day! I'll see you next time!


	4. Episode: Fugare To Chase

Mikau: Hi guys! Thanks so much for the reviews last chapter. I was starting to think that Bunnyz-chan was the only one that liked this fic. ^.^; It was so great to get all of the support and feedback. Thanks to: Bunnyz-chan, patternleap, DetectivePandaThief, and MeitanteiRose! Well, this is the second to last chapter. Backtracking a little bit, we start with Kaito in the hospital up until the point where we stopped last chapter. By the way, next chapter's going to be super long, so it may be a bit before I get it posted. In the meantime, please enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I were a middle-aged, Japanese, male mangaka, I too would, from time to time write chapters that took place in other parts of Japan so that my company would pay for me to go sightseeing…in the name of research for the chapter, of course.

…

Episode: Fugare "To Chase"

Kaito hadn't liked the hospital. It was too white…too sterile. The people had been nice enough when they weren't prodding him and asking overly personal questions and insinuating that he hurt himself on a regular basis, but all that hadn't made for a very nice stay.

Things got sorted out a little bit once he'd talked with Katsuragi-sensei. She'd remembered little things about him from when he was little, but Kaito honestly had no recollection of her. It had been during a traumatic part of his life with his father dead and his mother in a psych ward. She was nice, though. It didn't take long for Kaito to warm up to her.

"I want you to know that everything you say is confidential," she assured. "Unless you indicate that you're going to hurt yourself or someone else, my lips are sealed."

"So you won't tell anyone?" Kaito cocked his head to the side as he studied the middle-aged woman. She looked to be around his mom's age.

"Not a soul. Not your mother, not the other doctors in the break room, not the police…no one," she confirmed.

Kaito raised an eyebrow at this. "Not the police, huh? Not under any circumstances? I mean…what if I'm a criminal?"

Katsuragi shrugged. "Only if you tell me that you're planning on hurting someone."

"What if I told you I'm the Kaitou Kid?" Kaito held his breath.

"The only ones that would ever know would be you, me, and the God-awful wallpaper," she chuckled.

"Good. I'm the Kaitou Kid," Kaito confessed. "I wouldn't be telling you this, except it kind of has everything to do with my trauma: my daddy issues, my feelings of failure and inadequacy, my problems with my love life…the list goes on."

Her dark eyes narrowed. "Kaito-kun, how long have you believed yourself to be the Kaitou Kid?"

Kaito rolled his eyes. "That's funny. I finally admit it, and you don't even believe me. Look, I'm serious. I'm Kid. My dad was Kid before me until he was murdered, and I've been running around trying to catch his killers by pretending to be him for…about a year and a half now. Ask my mom, if you don't believe me, but that's what all my scars are from…getting shot by the guys that offed my dad. But anyway, the reason I'm in here is because I'm in love with the daughter of Inspector Nakamori, the head of the Kaitou Kid Taskforce. We've been friends since childhood, but things have changed between us since I've been Kid, and when I confessed, she turned me down kind of hard…. I also kind of slept with Detective Hakuba Saguru…who's trying to unmask me and put me in jail. He knows who I am, and I'm in love with him…only he doesn't love me…."

Katsuragi-sensei blinked slowly as she stared incredulously at her patient. "Kaito-kun, you…you…"

"Yeah," Kaito sighed. "You've got your work cut out for you, Doc."

…

He'd been released from the hospital Tuesday night, and Chikage had taken him home and made him a nice dinner before sending him off to bed.

Everything felt awkward. The house had been reasonably suicide-proofed, but Chikage was still watching him with the eyes of a hawk.

"Mom?" He called softly from his doorway as she reached the top of the steps.

"Yes, Baby? What's up?" Chikage stopped in front of him, leaning against the opposite wall.

"I…" He bit his lip. There were dozens of things he wanted to say: "I'm sorry, Mom", "Thank you for everything you've done for me", and "I love you" being at the top of the list. Instead of saying anything at all, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I know," she whispered back. "It's okay, Honey. Everything's gonna be alright."

He sighed again before placing a kiss on her cheek and then pulling back. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Kai-chan," Chikage giggled, giving his cheek a fond pat. "You know, you don't have to go to school tomorrow, if you don't feel like it."

Kaito shook his head. "If I don't go, that damn detective is going to get suspicious. I think it's best to just go and get it over with."

Chikage pursed her lips. "Are you going to be okay, Kaito? Maybe…Maybe we should do what Katsuragi-sensei said and have you transfer. I've heard that Teitan is an excellent school. You could meet new friends…start fresh…."

Kaito tried to smile, but it came out looking pained. "Kudo Shinichi goes to Teitan. I know people there, and there are people there that I don't want to be known by…. Especially when I'm in this condition."

Chikage's brow continued to furrow. "Well…there's Beika High or Haido High…those are both getting to be a little far, though…but I could drive you."

"No." This time Kaito managed to pull off a soft smile. "You don't know Hakuba. If I mysteriously disappear, he'll come after me. He's obsessed with me…on a stalker-ish level. I mean, the guy hopped continents to come chase me. I don't think a few city blocks will be much of a deterrent. Plus, he knows where we live. Nah. I'm just gonna bite the bullet on this one."

"If you say so," Chikage muttered. "But, Kaito…you can change your mind, you know. If…If it's too much…Kaito, _say_ something next time. Just say something, okay?" She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him like a stress ball.

"I will, Mom," Kaito promised, just enjoying the feeling of being held.

…

Kaito's first day back was tough.

Aoko knew.

He had no idea how, but, dammit, she knew.

She acted awkward all morning, and then, during lunch, she had pulled him aside and asked him to come up to the roof with her.

"Aoko…heard that Kaito was in the hospital. Aoko saw the ambulance come on Friday."

Kaito let silence reign between them as he waited for her to make the next move. He'd already shown her his hand, and he'd lost. He really didn't have anything left to say to her.

"Kaito, Aoko's sorry. She was wrong to say all the things she said to you on Friday. You may be different now, but you're still Kaito…you're still Aoko's friend, and she still loves you. When she saw the ambulance, she was so afraid. She doesn't want to lose you, so…Aoko's changed her mind. It doesn't matter that Kaito's changed. Aoko can just get to know Kaito all over again. Aoko will go out with Kaito," Aoko declared as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Kaito blinked, staring with a carefully blank look on his face. "Why? What's changed? You were right, Aoko. I'm not the guy you want me to be. He's gone, and you don't even know the first thing about me anymore. You were right to run away. You're just trying to soothe your guilty conscience now." He kept his voice neutral, poker face keeping the pain from showing. "I'll let you in on a little secret: you have no idea what all's going on in my life, and it's egotistical of you to think that you're the only reason I'd try to kill myself. This is more Hakuba's fault than it is yours. I don't want your pity, Aoko, any more than I wanted his. Stop waiting for me, Aoko. You deserve better. Get on with your life and be happy, already," he muttered, turning his back and walking away.

At that point, the kindest thing he could do for her was to be cruel. He had to set her free…let her go. It was the decent thing to do.

…

He felt miserable the rest of the day. It was hard to ignore Aoko as she shifted in the seat next to him, looking every bit as uncomfortable and wretched as he was.

And then Hakuba Saguru swung by Kaito's desk at the end of the day to make everything all the worse.

"I don't want to talk about it," Kaito sighed as he sat down on Katsuragi-sensei's couch that day.

"Tough." She shrugged. "Was it that bad?"

"God yes," Kaito muttered into one of the throw pillows. "Aoko's somehow managed to put the pieces together, and now she blames herself. She feels so bad about it that she even went so far as to say she'd go out with me."

"What did you say?" He could tell she was holding her breath.

"I told her it wasn't her fault and that I wanted her to move on and be happy," Kaito replied sadly. "Being a good person sucks."

"Good. That was very mature of you, Kaito-kun. You're doing a good job," Katsuragi assured, trying to be supportive without coddling him. Kuroba Kaito required a very difficult balance. "Dare I ask about Hakuba-kun?"

Kaito rolled his eyes. "Man, I hate that guy. He just won't leave me be. It's almost like he's genuinely worried about me. He came up to me today because he'd heard I'd been hospitalized with the flu, and he told me to eat right and get enough sleep and take my medicine…. It's hard to hate him when he says sweet stuff like that…and that just makes me hate myself even more because I still like the guy who screwed me up. I feel like I'm a yo-yo in his hand, and I can't stand it."

"You resent the control he has over you," Katsuragi noted.

"Yeah," Kaito agreed.

…

After his session, Kaito was starting to feel just a teensy bit better…until Hakuba showed up on his front porch to turn his world upside down for nth time. The Brit brought food and medicine and did that whole bit about wanting Kaito to move in with him so that Hakuba could take care of the battered magician.

The room was spinning when, thankfully, Chikage intervened, sending Kaito to his room. Only Kaito didn't go upstairs. He rounded the corner and waited on the steps to eavesdrop.

What he heard made him dizzy. Hakuba really and truly cared about him. It wasn't just an act he was putting on to placate the injured teen. Hakuba Saguru genuinely cared about him.

Kaito stumbled up the stairs and collapsed onto his bed. He sighed as he studied the thermos of stew Hakuba had given him.

Why'd Hakuba have to care so much? It would be better if the Brit didn't give two figs about Kaito. It'd hurt less if Hakuba had just straight up used him. This way, with the detective caring just short of enough, it only filled Kaito with false hope.

Kaito kept thinking that maybe, just maybe, there might be something there. Obviously Kaito didn't repulse Hakuba, and the blonde had admitted that he found the other boy attractive. It was evident that Hakuba cared a great deal, and so Kaito thought that if he could just give his crush a little push, a little nudge, maybe Hakuba Saguru would fall in love.

"This isn't healthy," Kaito muttered, rolling over onto his stomach.

He heard his mother sigh as she came into his room and leaned against his doorframe. "He's gone, and hopefully he's gotten the message to stay away from you. I mean, I'd hate to actually have to kill him…. You okay, Kai-chan?"

Kaito shook his head, and Chikage came over to sit next to him.

She gently stroked his hair and cooed, "My poor, sweet baby. Mama wishes she could wave a magic wand and make it all better."

Kaito sat up to face her and smiled. "Thanks, Mom. I wish magic were real…and that good always triumphed and that love could really overcome anything and all that other fairytale crap that they spoon-feed us when we're little."

"Yeah." She smiled sadly. "You're wrong about love, though. True, pure love can do anything. Love is _real_ magic."

"Mom, love sucks," Kaito snorted indignantly.

"Yes, I've been there too." Chikage went back to playing with his hair and massaging his scalp. "Heartbreak feels like actually having your heart torn out, but…all I can say is that it's worth it. One day someone will truly love you, Kaito, and it'll all be worth it."

"If you say so," the teen mumbled.

"I'm your mother and, therefore, infallible," she chuckled, then noticing the brown paper bag on Kaito's nightstand along with the thermos. "What's all this?"

Kaito shrugged. "Hakuba thinks I've been sick with the flu, so…just teas and herbs and soup."

Chikage raised an eyebrow. "He brought you soup? Wow…cliché much?" She smiled and reached for the thermos. "Well, no sense in letting it go to waste, and we both know _you_ don't have any use for _chicken_ noodle soup."

Kaito pulled the container away. "It's vegetable stew. Hakuba kind of stalks me, so he knows I don't really eat animals."

Chikage blinked. "He brought you homemade vegetable soup. Because he thinks you're sick and knows you don't eat chicken. He's obsessed with you to the point where he won't leave you alone, but he says he doesn't love you. Honey, either someone's in denial or that boy is messed up in the head. Either way, you have deplorable taste in men. Go back to liking girls, Sweetheart…though, you seem to like the violent ones. Could you try falling in love with someone who won't abuse you, Kai-chan?"

Kaito shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "I guess I've just got bad taste. The only other person I can think of wants to put me in handcuffs and tries to knock me out every time we see each other…. Not to mention the age difference issue…."

"You lost me, Honey." Chikage's brow furrowed as she tried to decipher her son's meaning.

"Don't worry about it," Kaito chuckled nervously. "So…question."

"Yeah?" Chikage shifted so that she was sitting cross-legged on top of the bed.

"I told you I'd slept with another guy, and you didn't freak out. Actually, it even seemed like you already knew that I liked Hakuba. So…?" Kaito looked at his mother in uncertainty.

She smiled, reaching out and patting him on the cheek. "My poor baby…you're a little obvious. Whenever I talked to you, you were always ranting and raving about Hakuba-kun this and Hakuba-kun that. At first I thought you'd just made a new friend, but…these past few months you've been getting _that_ look on your face when you talk about him, and I can just hear it in your tone of voice."

"But…you're not grossed out or anything?" Kaito held his breath.

"No, silly," Chikage laughed it off. "I was a little surprised, yes, but…Kaito, I love you to pieces, unconditionally. Besides, your father was the same way."

Kaito's mouth dropped open. "No."

"Yes," Chikage snickered. "Touichi thought he was being all hush-hush about it, but he had boyfriends. A guy like him was never meant to be tied down to one person. It was a great honor to be chosen as his wife, and he loved me more than anything…well, except you, but I couldn't be everything he needed. He never cheated on me with another woman—that he swore to me—but…there was a novelist…a mystery writer that Touichi used to cross mental blades with…and, after Nakamori Ginzo's wife died… Don't think ill of your dad, though, Kaito. He was sincerely devoted to me, and we had a wonderful marriage. No, I was definitely the favorite; after all, I had a trump card up my sleeve." She chuckled as memories of her husband brought a smile to her face.

"What was that?" Kaito wondered, a little dazed by this recent discovery about his idolized father.

Chikage smirked, touching a single finger to his nose. "You, my dear. I had you, and that was worth a billion times as much as anything the others could give him."

"Dad really loved me, didn't he?" Kaito mumbled, a small smile coming to his lips.

"God, nauseatingly so," Chikage laughed. "It was to the point where I was almost jealous of you. The way he'd fuss over you and hold you and coo about you and watch you sleep. He adored you, Kaito.

"And I love you too…." Suddenly sadness and worry flooded Chikage's features. She took her son's face in her hands. "Kaito, I want you to stay away from Hakuba-kun. Don't talk to him, don't look at him, don't even think about him. Just…let him go. He's no good for you, and I don't ever want him to hurt you again. Don't give him the opportunity, understand me? You're special…precious…and you're too good to waste on that wishy-washy mutt."

Kaito nodded, not knowing what else to say. True, it was probably best that Kaito keep the detective at arm's length, even if he had to beat the guy back with a stick, but…part of Kaito was still hoping and wishing and dreaming that Hakuba could come to care for him.

"Right," Kaito finally sighed. "I'll…I'll try, Mom. Thanks."

…

Kaito was dreading school. He didn't want to be near Aoko, and he definitely didn't want to be within a hundred yards of Hakuba Saguru, so school promised to be a double whammy of unpleasant events.

Only the day proceeded without anything worth mentioning occurring. Aoko sat quietly in the seat next to him the entire day, pretending he wasn't there after she politely wished him a good morning.

Chikage's threats must have struck a chord within the detective because Hakuba didn't even try to approach Kaito. He looked like he wanted to. He looked like he wanted to more than anything, but, in the end, Hakuba just sat in his own seat all day, looking like he was having an agonizing internal debate.

Kaito waited to be approached at lunch time, but no one came. He sat and ate his bentou in silence.

After school let out, Kaito took an extra-long time packing his bag, giving his prospective suitor ample opportunity to engage him, but, in the end, Hakuba walked right past him.

The detective had paused briefly just a step past Kaito, as if he might turn and look longingly at Kaito before confessing his love. Kaito's heart had started beating irregularly as he waited for Hakuba to turn, but it never happened. The blonde had heaved a small, quiet sigh before continuing forward without acknowledging Kaito at all.

And this had left Kaito disappointed. Somewhere deep down Kaito had wanted the annoying detective to pester him once more about moving in together. Kaito wanted to hear Hakuba swear that he cared and all of those other cheesy, prince-like lines that Hakuba regularly spouted.

Kaito had wanted Saguru to continue to fight for him.

…

Days went by. Kaito went to therapy, and Hakuba kept his distance.

"It's like he doesn't even see me standing there," Kaito pouted to Katsuragi-sensei one day a week or two into things. "He just ignores me, like I'm not the guy he threw into his bed a month ago," Kaito seethed, and then a little light bulb came on. "Maybe I wasn't any good. Do you think that's it? Maybe he really did love me, but I wasn't any good, so now he's just pretending he never had any feelings for me. Crap. I'm lousy in bed!"

"Kaito-kun, somehow I don't believe that's it. You keep jumping back to that night…. Let's focus on what's bothering you right now. Try to stay in the moment, Kaito-kun," she urged, trying to ground her fairly agitated patient. "It sounds like right now you're struggling with feeling used…and like you don't matter to him. Have you considered that maybe he's trying to help by staying away like you asked him to do? Or, perhaps he's frightened of your mother? You did say that she threatened to kill him, if he came near you."

Kaito scratched his head furiously. "This is so stupid. I just want to be left alone, so why they heck is being left alone bothering me so much? I just…I guess I just…I want him to want me. I want to be good enough."

"Kaito-kun, you're already good enough," Katsuragi reminded. "Your worth isn't determined by Hakuba Saguru's feelings for you. You're good enough already just by being you."

"I still want…him to love me, though," Kaito admitted. "There. I said it. I want him to love me. Even after a month I'm still hung up on him to the point where I'm just waiting and praying and holding my breath for him to turn around and confess to me. I'm delusional, that's what I am. I'm sick," he scoffed. "I just want him to look at me. He won't even look at me, and it seriously pisses me off. He can't just pretend I don't exist."

"Kaito-kun…I think that Hakuba-kun is avoiding you for your own good. From what you've told me about the situation, he only seems to want to help and support you…. Kaito-kun, I need you to try to stop fixating on him. Let him go. He's not yours, and, more importantly, you're not his. He doesn't own you. Let him go."

Kaito was silent for a moment as he considered life without Hakuba. If he truly let go, let them go back to being strangers, let their relationship dissolve and dissipate…

"I don't want to let him go," Kaito whispered.

The psychologist sighed heavily. "Then, Kaito-kun, you're never going to get better."

…

Hakuba continued to avoid and ignore Kaito, and so Kaito began to lash out. He flung insults at the detective at every opportunity, pretending the blonde didn't exist the rest of the time. It was a no-holds-barred, mudslinging war between them…only Hakuba didn't seem keen to participate. Whatever verbal abuse Kaito meted out, Hakuba took it without so much as the bat of an eye. This only served to throw fuel on Kaito's fire and make the teen feel even worse about himself.

In truth, Kaito didn't mean a word of it. He just wanted a reaction. He wanted to push his desk over and scream, "Look at me! Just look at me!" He was only ever met with quiet indifference from the detective.

Kaito's hope was slowly dying. He'd been a fling. Nothing more. There was nothing between them.

And then flowers unexpectedly showed up on Kaito's desk one morning. Purple hyacinth. It smelled lovely, and there was even chocolate accompanying it. Kaito hadn't the foggiest idea where it had come from, but it was kind of cool to get a present. He spent the rest of the day trying to figure out who the sender was. Mameko-chan? Momoka-chan? Akako-chan? Pft. Fat chance. Eiko-chan? Maybe. Or maybe it was a lowerclassman?

The next day brought similar excitement and guessing games. Yukiko-chan. It had to be Yukiko-chan.

When Kaito brought hyacinth home a third day in a row, Chikage finally asked, "Just who's apologizing to you?"

Kaito stuck out his bottom lip. "Mom, not everyone knows what flowers mean what. I've got a secret admirer. The purple of the flower probably reminds her of the purple in my eyes."

Chikage shrugged. "Regardless, you're going to gain weight, if you eat chocolate every day."

"Moooom," Kaito whined. "Somebody liiikes me. Get excited about it."

"Yippee," Chikage sighed. "Hopefully they're nice and normal this time."

On Monday of the second week of flowers, Kaito finally got the message. It really was "I'm sorry", and who could afford to send flowers so many days in a row but Hakuba Saguru, the man who had wronged Kaito?

Deep down, Kaito felt devastated all over again. He didn't have a secret admirer. There was no new relationship coming his way. There would be no thrill of falling in love with someone new.

And yet, Kaito also felt a twinge of hope flowing through him again. He wasn't being ignored anymore. Hakuba was fighting to win him over once more.

But, then again, this would probably set him back months of therapy. And he hadn't been going all that long.

He decided that he had to tell Hakuba straight that Kaito wished to be left alone. He had to be clear and do what was best for himself. Kaito couldn't take another wave of disappointment and betrayal crashing down upon him.

But then, even after he'd told Hakuba no, the flowers kept coming for another month. It hadn't been a bad month, though. Kaito had slowly been coming out of his shell and opening up to his former friends. He started going out and hanging out with classmates. Some semblance of normalcy was returning to his life, and Katsuragi-sensei was very pleased with his progress.

Things were going so well that Kaito was finally able to convince his mother to go away on a business trip for a week. She'd been doing overnight and weekend trips on occasion, but he'd been unable to persuade Chikage to leave him on his own for more than a day or two at a time.

With several worried glances back and stern instructions that Kaito was to call her immediately if anything should happen, Chikage set out for New York one Sunday.

And then the following day, out of the blue, a lavender rose appeared on Kaito's desk in place of the various apology flowers he'd been receiving.

Enchantment. Hakuba wasn't seriously implying that he was enchanted with Kaito, was he?

"_Give me a break,"_ Kaito mentally groaned. _"Give my heart a break, will ya?"_

The next day, Kaito nearly had a heart-attack when he saw the two roses meaning "mutual feelings".

"_It's a joke. Just a sick joke. He's not serious; he's just found a new way of psychologically torturing you."_

On the third day, when he received the three red roses, Kaito felt physically ill. It was too cruel. Hakuba didn't love him. He didn't. He couldn't.

Kaito spent the rest of the day quietly sobbing in the nurse's office. Afterwards, he went home and went straight to bed. He was in no condition to deal with this crap. That was the last straw. He had to get away from Hakuba Saguru for his own safety. If Hakuba seriously intended to ask Kaito out, Kaito was afraid he'd be unable to say no, even though he knew it'd be the death of him. He was powerless against the blonde. He had to escape for his own good.

…

Mikau: I had a lot of ground to cover with this chapter, so I decided to take a sort of "snapshot" approach to it, giving you scenes that filled in the cracks in Hakuba's narrative last chapter. I thought it was a good idea at the time, but now I feel like it came out choppy in some parts. What do you guys think? Despite the jumpiness, I feel like there were some good scenes in there and that it painted a clear picture of Kaito's feelings and experiences. At this point, I don't think I'll do "snapshot" writing again. But what's your opinion? Thanks for reading, guys. Have a great day, and I look forward to seeing you again for the final chapter! (Also, the poll's still going on my profile page.)


	5. Recapitulation

Mikau: Hi, guys! Last Chapter, and it's a long one. Thank you so much for your support through this, everybody. Thanks to Bunnyz-chan, patternleap, Mercedes, DetectivePandaThief, and MeitanteiRose for your reviews. I really appreciate you guys! Also, if you get bored now that this fic is over, check out my new fic, A Handful of Roses. It's kind of a HakuKaiShin love triangle/eventual threesome. And now on with the show.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd use the proceeds to permanently relocate to Kyoto. I miss the Nishioji Station area. Kameoka was pretty awesome too.

…

Recapitulation

Kuroba did not come to school on Thursday, so Saguru divided the flowers and chocolates between some of the girls in their class, thinking it best to leave Kuroba alone with his thoughts for the day.

When the magician did not show the following day either, Saguru paid him a visit after classes let out.

He knocked on the door and rang the bell numerous times, but no one answered. With a sigh, he pressed the intercom button. "Kuroba? It's me. I'm giving you five minutes to tidy up, and then I am using the spare key to come in."

That finally got a response: "Go away! I'm sick!"

Saguru smirked. "I know. I've come to visit you."

"Go away. I'm contagious," Kuroba sputtered, desperate to be left alone. He was a horrible mess, and Hakuba Saguru was the last person he wanted to see or be seen by at that moment.

"I know perfectly well that what you have isn't catching," Saguru retorted, mentally counting down the seconds.

"What do you know?" Kuroba muttered unintentionally, forgetting to let go of the intercom button before he spoke.

"That I've upset you greatly and that I am truly sorry, Kuroba."

There was silence.

"Three minutes and nine point five seconds, Kuroba," Hakuba warned.

"Dammit. Leave me alone!"

"No. Now hurry up and get presentable. We'll have the rest of this conversation once I'm inside."

Kaito wasted no time in throwing on something other than his Gomera pajamas and hiding all of the trash and embarrassing stuff he had left lying about.

A little less than three minutes and nine point five seconds later, the front door opened and Hakuba was begrudgingly permitted into the living-room.

"I'm not offering you tea or anything," Kuroba mumbled, looking down at his feet.

"I don't need tea," Saguru assured, closing the gap between them. "Kuroba, are you okay?" Saguru reached out to touch the other teen, but Kaito batted his hand away.

"'M fine."

"You are not." Saguru held out the chocolates and three red roses. "Kuroba, we need to talk."

"I don't want to talk to you," Kaito growled softly, still staring at the floor. "What are you trying to do? Give me emotional whiplash? First you throw me into your bed and do whatever you please with me, saying how much you love me and how you always want to be by my side, and then you wake up the next morning and tell me that you don't have any feelings for me, that you just wanted to screw something and I was stupid enough to fall for your little ploy. You tell me that what we did…everything you said to me that night…meant nothing, and then you try to take responsibility for what you did, as if no one was gonna want to marry me now that I'm used goods.

"And the worst part is you wouldn't even let me hate you. You kept bothering me and apologizing and giving me flowers and chocolates all romantic-like, and it just kept my hope alive, and I kept thinking that maybe you would change your mind and actually like me someday. And then you go and pull a stunt like this, using those roses to tell me you think I'm enchanting and that you feel the same way I do and that you love me. And here I am not knowing what's real. Thinking that maybe you're just messing with me. Not knowing if it's safe to believe and trust in you and hope or if you're just being cruel and pulling my chain because you found out how to push my buttons and you like the way I dance in the palm of your hand. You're a horrible person, Hakuba Saguru, and I wish I had never fallen in love with you!"

Kaito squeezed his eyes shut, entire body shaking as he held back tears.

Saguru leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the smaller teen. "Dare to believe and trust and hope, Dove. I truly find myself utterly infatuated with you. I love you, Kaito."

Kaito's body jerked as he kept down a sob. He leaned forward, into Saguru's arms and rested his head on Saguru's shoulder, his face in the crook of Saguru's neck. He tightly gripped a fistful of Hakuba's shirt as he held on for dear life.

"I love you," Saguru whispered, stroking Kaito's back from his shoulders to his tailbone. "I love you. Kaito, look at me."

Slowly Kaito lifted his head and opened his amethyst eyes, red and filled with tears.

Saguru leaned in, pressing his lips firmly to Kaito's.

The magician tried to pull away, but Saguru held him fast, deepening the kiss. "I love you," he gasped between forceful kisses.

Finally, Kaito quit fighting. He went almost limp in Saguru's embrace, allowing the detective to do whatever he willed.

Saguru walked them over to the couch and sat Kaito down. "Kuroba Kaito, I sincerely love you. Will you go out with me?"

"On two conditions." Kaito looked Saguru straight in the eye. "One: nothing physical. Don't grope me, don't kiss me, don't hug me, and for Pete's sake, keep your pants on at least for the first month. Maybe after a month I'll let you put your arm around me or kiss me on the cheek or something like that. I'm never just going to give into you like that again. I want a relationship that progresses naturally. I'm not going to trust you with all of me at once."

Saguru nodded. "Yes. That sounds like an excellent idea. And the second condition?"

The brunette blushed but kept his gaze fixed on Saguru. "Keep calling me 'Kaito'."

"Done." Saguru smiled lovingly, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend, but then he remembered the conditions and stopped, pulling back with an embarrassed half-smile. "Right. Sorry."

Kaito's blush darkened. "Okay, maybe a little physical intimacy isn't bad." He scooted over on the couch so that his side pressed against Saguru's, and he rested his head on the blonde's shoulder. "You can touch me and hold me, but keep it PG. You can kiss me, just not on the lips."

"Alright," Saguru agreed, planting a kiss on the top of Kaito's messy head of hair. "I'm sorry, Kaito. I'm sorry for the hell I've put you through these past few months, and I firmly intend to make it up to you in whatever way I can during the rest of our lives together."

Kaito nodded, not bothering to raise his head. "Okay…. Just…don't you ever turn on me again. I'd probably snap and kill you, honestly. What you did…kind of royally screwed me up mentally, and I wasn't exactly the most stable person before. Just fair warning…." Suddenly Kaito sat straight up and face-palmed. "Shoot. My therapist is not gonna like it when I tell her I'm dating you."

Saguru blinked in confusion. "Your…therapist?"

Kaito bit his lip, realizing what he'd let slip. "Uh…No…I mean…" He looked down, shrinking up and muttering, "It's not like I'm crazy or anything. I…I just…I mean, I don't have to see her every day anymore…just three or four times a week, and the pills aren't for forever…. I only have to take them for a year, and…" Kaito stood and distanced himself, crossing his arms, his back to his crush. "You know what? This was a bad idea. Just leave. You don't love me. You don't even know me. Get out, and leave me alone. I'm sick, and it'll kill me when you find out how broken I am and leave me. So leave now before you do any more damage."

Saguru crossed the room in three long strides, taking Kaito by the chin and forcing him to meet his gaze. "I'm not going anywhere," Saguru intoned firmly. "Ever. Understand?"

Kaito stared numbly as Saguru took him by the hands and led him back over to the sofa.

"Kaito, I have my own baggage and my own therapist back in England. I assure you, you are not weak or crazy, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You're smart enough to get help to get better when you need it." He reached up, cupping Kaito's cheek and fingering loose strands of the brunette's hair. "And, Kaito? You're no less loveable because this has happened to you, and I will not abandon you because of it. What is that line? 'In sickness and in health'?"

Kaito smiled softly, a light blush gracing his cheeks. "Really?"

"Honest to God, Dove," Saguru swore, leaning in and placing a chaste kiss on Kaito's forehead. "Now…if you don't mind, would you please tell me just what I've done to you, Kaito? Tell me how I've hurt you so I can have some idea of how to mend it. I feel like there's a lot going on here that I know nothing about."

Kaito shrugged, looking away in embarrassment. "It wasn't just you, you know. You were kind of the last straw, and you've been aggravating the situation these past couple months. I…I'm nothing like my father," Kaito sighed, threading his fingers through Saguru's. "It's hard for me to admit it. I've been holding myself up to such high standards and failing to meet them. I haven't been very kind or understanding to myself. I've been beating myself up a lot…pushing myself way too hard…. I've been struggling with feeling like a failure and a disappointment. I'm not half the vigilante, magician, or even man my father was.

"Secondly, for the past…year and a half, I guess…Aoko and I have been drifting apart." Kaito looked up with a sad smile. "She was my best friend. I used to be able to tell her anything, but…now, there are so many secrets and lies…I can't even discuss the weather with her anymore. I'm constantly letting her down and disappointing her. We…We're like strangers…so I have no one to talk to…no one to confide in, and I feel so alone. I'm hurt, she's hurt, and it hurts me to see her hurt because I'm the one who's doing it. I used to think that everything would fall into place one of these days and that we'd end up together…happily ever after, but…that's not going to happen now.

"And then there was…Nightmare." Kaito flinched, gripping Saguru's hand.

The blonde squeezed back in support.

"God…his poor kid…he's just like me." Kaito didn't need to say anything else.

"It sounds like you've been under a great deal of stress for a while," Saguru gently commiserated. "And then I imagine there was me on top of all of that, making your life even more complicated and miserable."

"Yeah." Kaito leaned in, resting his head on Saguru's shoulder. "I had been feeling really down and irritable and crumby for months. And then there was dealing with the inner struggle of falling for you and your antiquated manners and your snarky attitude and your sharp wit and your nice ass. You could have knocked me over with a feather the first time I saw you in a suit. God. The inverness getup and the school uniform don't do your body justice."

"Why, thank you," Saguru chuckled, pleased with the compliment and suitably flattered.

"It was…really hard for me to accept that I liked another guy," Kaito went back to muttering. "You don't seem to have any world-shaking, life-altering qualms about it, though."

"Ah." Saguru nodded. "You're not the first male I've been attracted to. I've been bi for a long time."

"Oh."

"You sound disappointed," Saguru noted with a raised eyebrow.

Kaito shook his head. "N-No…. I just thought that…you know…like in the manga how two guys who have never liked guys before suddenly fall in love with each other because…the other guy is special…. I just thought…maybe I was special."

Kaito laughed weakly. "Wow. That sounds really stupid out loud."

"Kaito, you _are_ special," Saguru assured, gripping his boyfriend's hand even tighter. "I may have been attracted to others before, but you are the first person I've ever loved. You're the first one whose feelings I care about. You're the first person I care about more than myself. Think about all that I'm risking to be with you…my reputation…my family's disapproval…my position with the Taskforce…. You are special, Kaito."

Kaito nodded, a small smile blooming on his lips. "Thanks. That makes me feel better…. You know, I…I confessed to Aoko that Friday after you and I slept together."

"What did she say?" Saguru did little to contain his curiosity.

"She dumped me flat on my face," Kaito chuckled ruefully. "She's the one that said we were like strangers. She said she hardly knew me anymore and that she had liked me before, but, the way I am now… It was a bad week, to say the least. I went home and…" He laughed again. "I was so upset and out of it that I dropped stuff and banged my head on the counter while I was trying to fix dinner. I went to the bathroom to get some aspirin out of the medicine cabinet for my pounding headache, but I saw my mom's sleeping pills and thought, 'Why the hell not?' I must have taken like twenty…popped them like M&Ms."

"Kaito…" Saguru breathed, eyes widening as his heart constricted. There was a sudden, sharp jolt of pain at Kaito's words.

The magician shook his head. "My mom wasn't supposed to be home. She was supposed to be in LA for another week, but…afterwards she told me that she had a bad feeling and just knew that she needed to come home. It's scary…a mother's intuition. She said she was just coming up the stairs and saw me collapse."

"Dove," Saguru whispered, pulling Kaito to him and nuzzling his hair and neck and face. "Dove, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"It's not completely your fault," Kaito reminded. "I was upset about all that other stuff too, and it was due to my own stupidity that I swallowed those pills. Besides, it's not a big deal. I mean, they kept me at the hospital for the weekend for observation, and then I had to check in with Katsuragi-sensei—my therapist—every day and take the pills they gave me, but…like I said, the pills are just for a year or so, and now I'm only seeing her three or four times a week, so—"

"—Kaito," Saguru snapped, pulling back and staring his boyfriend down. "It _is_ a big deal. _You_ are a big deal. Your life is important. You're precious to me…to many people, Kaito, and so, yes, it _is_ a big deal." The fierce look on Saguru's face melted, and he leaned in and gave Kaito's right temple a kiss. "Understand?"

Kaito gulped. "I think…maybe I'm starting to."

"Good." Saguru smirked, mussing Kaito's already messy hair.

"Hey…I gotta go." Kaito reluctantly detangled himself from Saguru's embrace.

The Brit cocked his head to the side, but didn't resist.

"I didn't go see Katsuragi-sensei yesterday, so I have to go today. Otherwise they come and get me and take me to the hospital for observation. That's the deal." Kaito shrugged, still ashamed of his situation, regardless of Saguru's assurances. "Really, I should be locked up in the psych ward, but my mom knows some people, so she got them to agree to her taking care of me at home so long as I saw Katsuragi-sensei as often as the doctor thinks is necessary."

Saguru stood, fetching his coat. "Let me walk with you. I'll sit in the waiting room during your appointment, and we can get dinner together afterwards."

Kaito hesitantly agreed, smiling as Saguru held up Kaito's coat for the brunette to slip on and then opened the door for the magician like a gentleman.

As they walked, Saguru kept Kaito to the inside, walking along beside the street himself. When they paused at an intersection, Saguru stood comfortably close, so that his shoulder just brushed Kaito's.

"_So this is what it feels like to be a couple,"_ Kaito mused, loving the subtle ways Saguru's body language towards him had changed.

It was fond, familiar, comfortable, and a little protective. It sent the firm message of "Mine." to anyone that might have been looking amorously at Kaito.

Katsuragi-sensei noticed the small interactions between the two as well when they parted in her waiting room.

"Do you have a boyfriend now, Kaito-kun?" She was careful to keep her voice neutral.

Kaito shifted nervously in his armchair. "Uh…yeah… He asked me out today."

She nodded, pushing the glasses a little further up the bridge of her nose. "Kaito-kun, it might not be best to enter into a relationship right now when your emotional reserves are so depleted. You may end up using this young man as a rebound from Hakuba-kun, and such a relationship could be damaging to the both of you."

Kaito gulped. "That…That _is_ Hakuba Saguru. Remember the other day I told you he'd given me three red roses? He was serious. He says he's in love with me, and I think he actually means it."

Katsuragi nodded. "Kaito-kun, I'm not going to tell you what you can and cannot do. It's your life, but I would like to state my professional opinion. This is a _very_ bad idea. If you two do date and something happens… You're exceptionally strong, Kaito-kun, but this boy has the uncanny ability to get under your skin. You've been fighting so hard for months now to get better, and you've been making great progress, but…Hakuba-kun has the power to put you back at square one in a single breath. I honestly think you need to do all that you can to rid your life of him. I know you can't do anything about work, but you could transfer schools, move… I'm very apprehensive about this."

Kaito sighed, a small smile coming to his lips. "Yeah. Me too. He could crush me, and he knows it, but…today…he kissed me and called me precious and held me like he never wanted to let go and told me he wasn't going anywhere…until death do us part. I honestly do think he's serious about me, and I…you know I haven't been able to get him out of my head for months now. I wanna try this, and, if it ends me, so be it. What else is there worth living for anyway?"

"There's always something worth living for. It doesn't mean your life's over just because a relationship is," she replied sagely.

Kaito shrugged. "Yeah. You're probably right, but I'm a teenager. You know what it's like."

The psychologist nodded. "Yes. I've been there, done that, and have a teenager of my own at the moment. Everything's the end of the world. Teenagers are dramatic creatures."

"I'm drawing boundaries this time, though," Kaito informed, trying to warm her up to the idea.

Her eyebrows raised in interest.

"I told him that we're not doing anything physical beyond light touches and pecks on the cheek or anything. I'm not going to trust him so readily this time," Kaito assured.

She bit her lip but nodded anyway. "Kaito-kun, I want to start doing our daily check-ins again. I want to see you tomorrow. Your mother is still out of town, isn't she?"

"Yeah." Kaito winced at the thought of Chikage. What in the world was he going to tell his mother? "Okay. I understand, and I'll see you tomorrow."

"And you have my home number and the suicide hotline numbers in case you need them tonight?" Katsuragi-sensei continued to chew nervously on her bottom lip.

"Thanks, Sensei," Kaito chuckled. She really did remind him of his mom. "I'll be okay. I'll see you tomorrow," he stressed.

She gave another nod. "I will see you tomorrow."

They stepped out into the lobby, and Saguru rose to meet them. He took Kaito's hand, and the pair was about to head out to dinner when Katsuragi stopped them. "Hakuba-kun? If I might have a word?"

Saguru looked back and forth between Kaito and the doctor before giving his boyfriend a calm smile. "Of course."

They stepped into the office, and Saguru gave her a wry grin. "I imagine you're not happy about current developments and that you don't like me much, do you, Madame?"

"How observant," Katsuragi-sensei exhaled slowly, crossing her arms. "I feel that I must warn you. Don't break up with him. Kaito-kun is…unstable at best. He could very well kill the both of you."

"Don't worry. I love him," Hakuba returned with composure.

"Are you certain? You're what? Seventeen? Eighteen? I give you that you're a very intelligent young man, Hakuba-kun, but you're only a child. You're playing with a lit stick of dynamite. Do be careful with it."

"Duly noted," Saguru sighed, dropping into a full bow. "I want to thank you sincerely for taking care of Kaito in my negligence, Sensei. I'll see to it that it doesn't happen again. Good day."

"Good day, Hakuba Saguru."

…

After a short walk around the area surrounding the doctor's office, the boys decided to have Chinese takeout delivered to the Kuroba abode. They headed back to the house where they enjoyed crab Rangoon, fried rice, sweet and sour soup, and a beef dish for Saguru, a tofu dish for Kaito.

"So…" Kaito hummed as he twirled the noodles around his chopsticks like spaghetti. "You love me."

"I do." Saguru felt a little uneasy about where this was going.

"But…you don't even know me. I mean…you know, the most talking we've ever done was that night we were drunk and you kept going on about how you were head over heels for me and wanted to always be with me. We've never really had proper conversations. How can you say you love me when you don't know anything about me?" Kaito looked Saguru straight in the eye and asked.

It wasn't a challenging or accusative tone of voice. Kaito was merely curious.

"I know more than a lot of people, you'd be surprised to learn." Saguru smirked, stealing a piece of baby corn from Kaito's plate. "You pretend to be a clown, but, truly, you're exceptionally bright. You've a very high IQ, with a talent in science and math especially. Even still, you excel at the social sciences as well…in particular literature. You're a voracious reader. You've in recent years taken quite the interest in mythologies, but your true love is poetry, particularly Emily Dickenson and Lewis Carroll. You like novels as well. Not particularly any genre, so long as there's a good plot and a little romance. You prefer books heavy on dialogue and character development. Would you like to hear more about yourself? I could tell you all about your political views, or maybe we could discuss your fascination with Asuka manga as of late, or your recent interest in Detective Mouri Kogoro?"

Kaito self-consciously licked his lips in a nervous gesture. "And…you found all this out how? Just from watching me?"

Hakuba nodded. "One doesn't have to actually talk to someone in order to know them…if one is observant. Which you know I am…. No. I know you, and you fascinate me."

Kaito's gaze shifted down, falling to his plate. "So your interest in me is purely intellectual."

"No. I—"

"—Then stop looking at me with that 'Detective Hakuba on the case' expression. No matter what you detectives think, I'm not a puzzle box for you guys to disassemble. I'm a person, not a riddle."

Saguru reached out and took Kaito's hand. "I can assure you, I don't think of you that way at all, and my feelings for you are far more than any kind of intellectual curiosity. I won't deny that you intrigue me on that level as well, but I love you, Kuroba Kaito, as a person. I love the real you that you hide behind the mask of class clown. I love that cute little, clever, compassionate, loyal, noble person called Kaito that you try to cover up. You're thoughtful and considerate, caring and conscientious, with just a hint of frailty. You have your moments of weakness, Kaito, but you always stand back up. You're a fighter…. See. I know more about you than you thought."

"You must have been doing a lot of stalking when I thought no one was looking to know all that," Kaito mumbled, hesitantly looking up at Saguru. "So…you really are in love with me."

"I am," Saguru affirmed, letting go of Kaito's hand and resuming his dinner.

"You haven't asked why I love you yet," Kaito added off-handedly a minute or so later.

"I thought you said you liked my bad personality," Saguru chuckled. "And…what was it? My 'nice ass'? I should have known you only wanted me for my body."

"Seriously," Kaito prodded.

Hakuba shrugged. "I assume you just have bad taste in men. So long as you love me, I'm just thankful that you do."

"Seriously," Kaito pressed. "…I started to notice about half a year or so ago that…you're like me. The mask you show everyone isn't the real you. You're not really as big of a jerk as you make yourself out to be. On the inside you've got a good heart, and you don't really understand other people, especially when they hurt others. You genuinely care about people, and you can't stand to see someone hurt. You're just trying to make the world right one wrong at a time. On the inside…you're hurting too."

Saguru hummed in thought before finally replying. "Looks like I'm not the only one who's been paying attention."

Kaito shrugged, looking innocent. "So…how exactly are we going to play this?"

"You mean the relationship?" Saguru surreptitiously studied Kaito's face. "I think what you said earlier was a good idea. We shouldn't jump into anything. I would like to get to know you a little better first. I mean, the majority of what I know of you is all knowledge gained from stalking you. I would like to have a few proper conversations before we tumble into bed again."

"You forget that you _threw_ me into bed last time," Kaito mumbled. "Of course, you've conveniently forgotten the entire thing."

Saguru made a mental note never to mention that night ever again. "I remember some. I remember your face. I'd give anything to see you make that face again."

Kaito flushed. Suddenly the room felt sweltering hot. "You know, my mom's out of town."

Saguru blinked, not sure if he'd heard correctly. "Sorry?"

Kaito's face turned an even darker shade of crimson. "Uh…no…I…Nothing!" _"So much for natural progression in the relationship and not trusting him right away, slut. Way to show him your hand again."_

"Kaito, as much as I'd like to…I want this to be a real relationship. I didn't ask you out so that I could sleep with you. I want to be a real couple—supporting each other, spending time together, and helping each other grow to our greatest potential. I don't think it would be healthy for us to rush into a physical relationship. I don't want to hurt you, Kaito."

Kaito was quiet for a minute, processing what had been said. He swallowed hard and nodded.

"However," Saguru continued, "if you simply did not wish to be alone tonight, I could always stay and keep you company. You've had a rough past few months, and it's the very least I owe you. Just sleeping and cuddling, though. And I'll make you breakfast in the morning."

Kaito's face lit up into a bright smile like he hadn't been able to manage for months. "I'd like that a lot."

…

After dinner, they hung out in the living-room, playing board games and watching movies. At around nine o'clock they made chocolate chip cookies. Well, Kaito ate a lot of the dough, so only twelve cookies made it into the oven. Even fewer made it onto the plate, and none survived to head back into the living-room with the boys.

They crawled into bed around midnight after individual showers, and Kaito wrapped himself like a blanket around Saguru's torso.

"You're making me hot," Saguru whined.

"We can always take the comforter off," Kaito chuckled, pressing his thigh even harder between Saguru's legs.

"You're evil," Saguru whimpered. "You know exactly what I mean. I thought we agreed upon snuggling and sleeping only. You're torturing me on purpose."

"Bingo," Kaito snickered, easing up on the pressure. "You deserve it."

"True," the blonde agreed with a sigh partly of relief, and half of frustration. "I love you."

"Say it again," Kaito commanded.

"I love you, Kaito," Saguru obeyed.

"Again?" Kaito asked hopefully.

"I love you," Saguru replied, staring the brunette straight in the eye.

"Again."

"I love you. I love you. I love you," Saguru swore, touching his lips to Kaito's forehead. "As many times as you like. Until the syllables slur together and the words lose their meaning. I love you, Kuroba Kaito."

"I love you too," Kaito whispered, fear evident in his trembling voice and wide eyes.

Saguru propped himself up a little and cupped Kaito's cheek. "Thank you."

"F-For what?" Kaito stuttered, entranced by the intense mix of emotions in Saguru's golden eyes.

"For still loving me despite the hell I've put you through. I'm truly sorry, Dove," Saguru whispered as shame settled into his features. "I never meant to jerk you around the way I did, rejecting you and then changing my mind."

"I forgive you," Kaito returned, pressing a soft kiss to Saguru's jaw. "For the most part," Kaito chuckled as a devious smirk spread across his face. "I plan on guilt-tripping you until death do us part."

"Fantastic," Saguru sighed. "God knows I deserve it, though."

"You really feel bad about it, don't you?" The smug look slowly melted off of Kaito's face.

"God, yes. Kaito, what I did to you was cruel and selfish and utterly unacceptable. To think that you almost died in part because of me…Kaito…"

"It sounds like the forgiveness you need is your own, not mine," Kaito responded thoughtfully. "You know, Katsuragi-sensei told me, 'If you keep looking in the rearview mirror, you're gonna crash.' Stop thinking about all that garbage in the past, Saguru; it's a waste of time and effort. I recommend refocusing on how devilishly handsome I am."

Saguru could hardly contain his laughter. "Kaito, you are magnificent."

"Yep. Took you long enough to realize it," the magician snorted, forcing his boyfriend to lay down so that Kaito could settle in for bed. "Now go back to telling me you love me until I fall asleep."

"Your wish is my command." Saguru softly kissed Kaito on the forehead before resuming his litany of "I love you"s.

…

Katsurai-sensei had called Chikage and advised her to return home as soon as possible. Unfortunately, due to patient confidentiality, she couldn't explain the situation other than to say that Kaito was not in immediate danger, but that Chikage was highly encouraged to return home to her son.

As a result, Chikage had boarded the first flight back to Tokyo and had reached her home in Ekoda at approximately five in the morning the following day.

The first thing she noticed was the extra pair of shoes in the entryway. They were large—a man's—and of the same style that Kaito and his classmates wore to school. Kaito had a friend over, then. That fact was made even more obvious from the board games scattered about the living room and the precariously stacked mountain of DVDs left lying out on the coffee table. The kitchen was in a similar state of disrepair. It was obvious that Kaito and his friend had made cookies…or at least cookie dough. Kaito had a penchant for eating the entire batch before they ever made it into the oven.

Chikage was beginning to wonder what all the fuss was about as she ascended the staircase and poked her head into her son's room. And then she understood why she had literally flown across the globe at the drop of a hat in order to get back to her boy.

There, in her son's bed, with his arms wrapped tightly around her precious baby was that cruel monster Hakuba Saguru.

Chikage's field of vision went red as she stared, incensed, at her Kaito entangled in that beast's limbs. She went to Kaito's nightstand and set off the alarm clock, startling the two teens awake.

"M-Mrs. Kuroba," the blonde was the first to process the situation. "I…"

"M-Mom?" Kaito squinted at Chikage. He suppressed a yawn and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be in the States?"

"Katsuragi-sensei called me and told me I should get home," Chikage replied in the calmest tone of voice she could manage. "Now I can see why. Kaito, have you completely lost your mind?! Explain. What the hell is going on here?! Why is that…that man in your bed?! What's he done to you now!?"

Kaito's brain wasn't quite working on so little sleep so early in the morning, especially after the mental strain he'd been under all week.

Saguru, thankfully stepped in. "Madame, you told me not to go near your son until I truly loved him. Well, I love him, so I've returned. Just for your information, Kaito has been very clear about setting boundaries between us physically. I give you my word that we're only sleeping in this bed."

Chikage took several deep breaths before responding. "No. Get away from my son. I won't let you hurt him again."

"Moooom," Kaito protested. "Mom, even you have said before that Saguru's just in denial about his feelings for me. Well, now he's realized it, and he's really sorry about what happened between us before. He really does love me, and I still love him, so…"

"Kaito, you're in no condition to be making these kinds of decisions," Chikage replied, doing her best to keep her voice even. She was so scared. It was as if her child was playing with a deadly snake and she was trying to call her boy away, back to safety, before it bit him. "Please, Kaito, be reasonable. Remember how much he hurt you."

"I don't want to." Kaito shook his head. "Mom, I get it. You're worried, but…I _want _to be with him. This may be stupid of me, but…I trust him. If he breaks my heart a second time, I'll be sure to let you know and we can tie him up and carve out his beating heart together, but, for now…can't you give him a chance for my sake? I promise I'll keep going to Katsuragi-sensei and taking my medicine and telling you everything that's going on, but…can't you just…just this once…?"

Chikage sighed, burying her face in her hands and then running her fingers through her hair. "It's not like I have much of a choice, Kaito. You're as stubborn as I am! Fine, but if he hurts you…" She turned to Hakuba and glared for all that she was worth. "If you hurt my son, I will torture and kill you."

Saguru gulped, suddenly reminded that mental instability ran in Kaito's family. It dawned upon him, alas, too late, that all of his in-laws were bound to be a little nutters. "I swear to you, Madame, that I will do everything in my power to make your son happy."

"You'd better," she snorted before stomping off.

"Sorry," Kaito whispered before pushing Saguru back down in bed. "She's just…worried sick about me. I think she's scared that I'm gonna die too and leave her all alone. Of course, there's the part where she loves me and doesn't want anything bad to happen to me, but…she's scared of being alone too, so…forgive her, will you?"

"Don't worry. I'm every bit deserving of her mistrust and ill will," Saguru sighed, resting his head against Kaito's.

…

Chikage watched Hakuba Saguru like a rattlesnake over the next few months, ready to strike the blonde down the instant he faltered. However, to Chikage's immense surprise, (and not for lack of trying) she simply couldn't find fault with the boy. She was even begrudgingly starting to like the young man.

It all started about two weeks after Kaito and Saguru had initially become a couple. They had been having a typical night in, laying about on the couch, watching a movie. Well, Kaito was watching the movie; Saguru was watching Kaito.

The look on the detective's face while he gazed at her son was nothing short of pure adoration. Chikage had seen it many times before on Touichi's face as he gazed into her own eyes or looked with love upon their son.

Hakuba Saguru was absolutely over the moon for Kaito.

All Chikage had to do was look at Saguru's face when he knew Kaito wasn't paying attention. That dreamy, "You're my whole world" look made a home on the detective's features every time. And Saguru's affections didn't diminish over the months. If anything, they grew…along with his outlandish displays of devotion.

One morning ninety-nine roses were delivered to the Kuroba residence, causing Chikage to wonder why Hakuba Saguru was assuring Kaito that he would love her son until the day the blonde died. Had they had a fight? Was it some obscure anniversary that the blonde had made up?

"O-Oh," Kaito had blushed and sputtered when she'd inquired over breakfast. "Last night…we sort of kissed for the first time…the first time on record, anyway. You know how he gets about stuff like that."

Chikage's eyes widened as she nodded slowly. "Oh, yeah. I noticed. I wonder what he's planning for your anniversary. It'll be a year in…three months, right?"

Kaito nodded. "Probably three hundred and sixty-five roses."

"Holy crap." Chikage ran a hand through her hair. "Kaito, that's, like, thirty dozen roses. Where the hell are we going to put thirty dozen roses?! We don't have that much table space."

With a nervous laugh, the teen shrugged. "At least they only last a week or two, right? I'm thinking of giving them out to all the girls at school."

"Yes. Please. Do that," Chikage insisted. "I don't want to drown in roses. That's not the way I want to go."

"Haha, right? Man, if I get eight dozen roses for kissing him, I wonder what he's going to do when I finally sleep with him."

"God. We'll have to rent storage space. Why'd you have to pick such a rich one?" Chikage teased.

Kaito held out his arms, hands palms up. "He's the one that came all the way from England to chase me, not the other way around."

Slowly Chikage's brow furrowed. "Kaito…"

"Yeah, Mom?" He cocked his head to the side and waited for her to continue.

"You still love him?"

"Madly," Kaito assured with his trademark smirk. "Insanely."

"Good," Chikage sighed in relief. "Because that boy is crazy about you. If you were to lose interest in him now…you'd be the one ripping his heart out and stomping on it."

Kaito nodded. "Yeah. No…we're still stupid in love."

"Good," she repeated.

…

"What would you say if I asked you to move to Boston with me and become American citizens?" Saguru nervously inquired out of the blue one morning over breakfast with the most serious expression on his face.

Kaito blinked, fork halfway to his mouth. "…Hell no? I kind of like being Japanese, and I kind of like Tokyo. It's where all my friends and family are, so, no."

"Oh." Saguru's brow furrowed as he placed a hand on his chin in thought. "Well…that complicates matters."

A displeased expression settled on Kaito's face. "Why? Are you moving to Boston?"

"Huh? Oh. No. No, not without you. There'd be no point." Saguru shrugged.

"Ru, what the hell?" Kaito set down his fork and crossed his arms, fixing his boyfriend with an unamused glare.

Saguru sighed, fishing a ring box out of his jacket pocket. He set it down in front of Kaito and opened the lid.

Inside was a simple silver band with the Hakuba and Kuroba family crests along with their initials carved on the inside of the band.

Kaito's mouth fell open, and his eyes went wide. "What is THAT?"

"An engagement ring," Saguru mumbled, noting, one, that Kaito looked more freaked out than overjoyed, and, two, Saguru was probably more likely to become single than engaged at this point.

"No. Seriously," Kaito laughed in absolutely terror. "What is that?"

"Nothing," Saguru muttered, snapping the box closed and putting it away. "It's nothing."

"Oh my God, you're serious," Kaito whispered in horror. "Ru, love of my life, I'm so psychologically damaged that I can't even sleep with you yet…after two years. I'm nineteen. I'm in no position to be getting engaged, even if I do plan on spending the rest of my life with you. It's not you, Ru, it's me."

"So…that's not a 'no', it's a 'not now'?" Saguru looked up hopefully.

"Yes," Kaito chuckled sheepishly, getting up and coming over to his boyfriend.

Saguru stood and wrapped his arms around his true love. "Because I want to marry you. If at all possible in a legally binding ceremony. I want everyone to know you're mine and I'm yours."

"I think they get the hint from the way you wrap your arm around me and snarl whenever you see anyone checking me out," Kaito snickered and slipped the ring box out of Saguru's pocket once more. "I'll consider this a promise ring. Bring me the real engagement ring once we're out of college. Wanna put it on me?" Kaito held out the ring and his right ring finger.

"I do." Saguru grinned, his heart fluttering as he slid the ring on Kaito's finger.

"Not yet, you don't," Kaito snickered. "But…I've been thinking, Saguru. I think…I think it _is_ time and that I _am_ ready to take our relationship to the next level, so—"

"—Kaito, I can wait," Saguru cut him off. "I don't want to rush you into this, if you're not ready. I'm a patient man, and I—"

"—Ru, it's okay," Kaito assured with a chuckle. "Even Katsuragi-sensei said that I should just go for it. I _am_ ready. I mean, I know there's nothing to be afraid of. I know it's not going to be a repeat of last time, and I know for certain that you truly love me…. I know deep down that it'll be okay…amazing even, so I know I have no reason to be scared. I want to do this."

"But, Kaito…you are scared," Saguru mumbled. "When we've tried in the past…" He gave an involuntary shudder. "I don't like seeing you like that. Maybe…maybe we should just—"

Kaito took Saguru by the collar and looked the blonde straight in the eye. "Saguru, I want you to make love to me."

"Right. When and where then?" The detective easily caved.

Kaito smiled. "My mom's out of town. Why don't you come on over tonight? We can get Chinese takeout, and then I'll kick your butt at Soul Caliber. Afterwards, I'll take you up to my room and we'll see if we can get the neighbors to file a noise complaint with the police. How's that sound?"

Saguru raised an eyebrow. "Really? No fancy dinner? No hotel suite? Just…Chinese food and video games?"

"Yep. I keep telling you I'm low-maintenance. Maybe things will work out better this time, if we just do it my way. Maybe after a while we'll be able to do your fairytale romance thing, but, for now, I really just want to be a couple of teenagers, wildly in love." Kaito cast Saguru a pleading look.

Saguru responded with a smile and a nod. "We already are. Truthfully, it doesn't matter to me, so long as I'm with you and you love me."

"I love you madly," Kaito whispered, leaning in for a kiss.

"I love you more," Saguru chuckled, rubbing his nose to Kaito's in an Eskimo kiss.

"More than Sherlock Holmes?" Kaito tested.

"Hmm…" Saguru hummed pensively.

"Hey," Kaito whined.

"Joking, Dove," Saguru assured. He leaned back and looked at his beloved. "I'd die for you," he breathed.

"I'd prefer if you didn't, but I'm honored that you would," Kaito chuckled. "No. I want you to live a nice long life. Who'd take care of me, if you died?"

"I'd kill for you," Saguru revised.

"I'd never ask you to," Kaito whispered. "And it'd tear you up on the inside if you ever had to."

"I'd give up my status for you…my money, my family connections, my fame, my riches…"

"That…you might actually have to make good on. Your dad's probably going to disinherit you when he finds out about me," Kaito returned sheepishly.

"You've met my father, and he loves you," Saguru snorted lightly.

"He doesn't know I'm sleeping with his son," Kaito chuckled.

"It doesn't matter if he kicks me out. I'll make my own way in the world. You're worth fighting for, Kaito, and I'd gladly give it all up for you," Saguru pledged.

"Thanks." Kaito lay his head down on Saguru's shoulder and whispered into the taller teen's neck. "But…you know, you don't have to _do_ anything, Saguru. I don't need all of your oaths and your pledges and your vows. I appreciate them, but I've only ever asked for one thing from you. I only need one thing. Just love me, Saguru."

"I do." Saguru held Kaito even tighter. "Mind, heart, and soul, I do…. And 'body' will come later tonight."

"Tease," Kaito laughed, giving Saguru's bum a good grope before pulling back and returning to his breakfast.

"Look who's talking," Saguru snorted putting his hands on the back of his chair and leaning against it.

Kaito shrugged, grinning smugly. "I tend to do that unless you shut me up."

Saguru hummed with a raise of his eyebrows. "Would you like me to shut you up now?" A make-out session did sound nice.

"What do you think?" Kaito rolled his eyes, running his finger in a tantalizing motion along the inside of his shirt collar so that it stretched and reveled his collarbone.

Saguru watched the motion like a cat following a goldfish in a bowl with its eyes. "I think you'll be late for Anthropology."

"Screw Anthropology." Kaito grinned like a shark.

"Weren't you falling behind in Anthropology?" Saguru simpered as he made his way over to the other side of the table. "If you're not careful, you'll lose your scholarship." He set one palm down on the table and the other on the back of Kaito's chair, leaning forward so that their noses were scant inches apart.

"A B+ isn't really considered 'falling behind', is it? Besides, the professor is so dry, he sucks the life out of the subject matter. Screw you," Kaito pouted.

"That will have to wait until tonight," Saguru sniggered evilly. "I'm very much looking forward to keeping your neighbors up until some ungodly hour of the morning…. But, for now, you have class in half an hour."

"I don't wanna go," Kaito sulked.

"Honestly, I don't want you to either," Saguru admitted. "If I had it my way, I'd keep you on a leash. You get into too much trouble otherwise. If I had you on a leash, I could keep an eye on you…keep you safe."

"I can't go to class with that image in my head," Kaito groaned.

"Tough." Saguru was enjoying this immensely.

"Make sure you bring handcuffs tonight," Kaito instructed, pupils dilating.

Saguru's eyes widened as Kaito lunged forward, grabbing Saguru by the cheeks and pulling their lips together.

"I love you," Kaito whispered as they pulled apart.

"I love you more than life itself," Saguru swore. "Now get to class, Dove."

Kaito stuck his tongue out as he grabbed a croissant for the road. "Meet me for lunch at The Cage after Criminal Psych," he called over his shoulder.

"Until then!" Saguru returned, slumping down into Kaito's vacated seat and running both hands through his hair. "Wow."

He could only pray that things would work out tonight because he wanted that tantalizing temptress bad. Though, if Kaito had another panic attack, it couldn't be helped. Saguru couldn't blame him for his trauma.

After all, the last time Kaito had gotten into bed with Saguru, the poor magician had ended up rejected and betrayed, mentally shattered and broken. No, the last time Kaito had slept with Saguru, Kaito had ended up almost dead and in therapy ever since.

No, if Kaito wasn't ready, Saguru would patiently wait. He'd wait an eternity, if necessary. They had the time…however, Saguru kind of got the feeling that tonight would be different.

Yes, Saguru was going to be the luckiest man in the world, and this time he would make sure to savor the moment and remember every second.

The

End

…

Mikau: How was it? What do you think? I'm pretty happy with it. You know, I've noticed that Hakuba and I have gotten a lot closer lately. I've started using his first name a lot more. He's always been my favorite (sorry, Kaito), and I've always felt that I've understood him well, but until recently he'd been "Hakuba" more often than "Saguru", and that's starting to change.

Anyway, I've finally gotten up to the 570s in Conan, and back around 550, I noticed that Mouri's voice sounded…wrong all of the sudden. I thought I was just imagining things or that maybe the voice actor was just having an off day, but it was the same for the following episode. I was watching Mouri and listening to him speak and thinking, "Who the hell are you? That man is NOT Mouri Kogoro! He's an imposter!" And then I looked at the credits, and the voice actor had changed. I was devastated. I felt like the Mouri I had begrudgingly come to know and love had died. He just wasn't the same character anymore. I'm gradually getting used to the new guy, but it's just not the same. T.T Thanks, guys! Hopefully we'll meet again soon!


End file.
